Light Always Casts Shadows

Lately I feel like I have been learning the lesson of intentionality.
Life is all about choices, and unless you intentionally make choices, they will be made for you. It's one of those hard facts of life. Days will come whether I want them to or not, and how I spend it is up to me. But I don't want to be caught having life happen to me. I want to make life happen. I want to intentionally spend my time with Jesus every single day. I want to intentionally grow the relationships I have in my life. I want to intentionally serve the people God places in my place. I want to intentionally set time aside for exercise and sleep and small groups.

Well, I haven't been getting what I want. Shocker, right? But that's no one's fault but mine, because I've been letting life happen to me.

Sleep...I'll get time for that eventually. Lunch...maybe I'll get a break. Relationships...I'll text them back at some point in the next week. Exercise...that would be nice. Work...I just take things as they come and just continually add things to my to-do list without checking anything off.

But I'm getting to the point--finally--that I see how this is my own doing. That I see that all of this is my choice. It's not my busyness or my crazy schedule. It's how I am choosing to spend my time. It's my choices and priorities. 

Which leads me to the second lesson I've been learning...walking in the light.

1 John 1:5-10
"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 

 I will never be able to take control of my life. Ever. Things happen that I don't expect. I wake up having one schedule and throughout the day it quickly goes out the window in order to accommodate a new list of tasks. No matter how much life surprises me, it never surprises God. Nothing is thrown at me that wasn't first sifted through His hands. Although I cannot (and should never) be in control, I can let Him have control and see the wonderful fruits of His work. But He won't do that unless I ask. I believe wholeheartedly that God gives us the choice. Life is full of intentional choices, right? I can choose His way or I can choose mine. My way is chaos and life happening to me, but His way is in the light. And walking in the light is beautiful and meaningful and full of life...and terrifying.

Think of a gorgeous day in the spring (it's difficult to imagine what that feels like with all this winter weather but try anyway). The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And you are in the park. Now look around...do you see all the shadows? The sun casts shadows everywhere. That's what walking in the light of Jesus does too. Walking in the light casts the shadows of sin in our life. It clearly shows us what is standing between us and God, just like shadows show how the large tree is blocking the sun from the ground behind it. And I cannot eliminate those shadows from sin until I recognize it. I can turn my back for awhile and act like everything is fine, but the shadows are still there. The sin is there and it is blocking the light from parts of my life. It is putting Jesus in a box and keeping Him from a full relationship with me. And that's my choice.

Do you see how intentionality and walking in the light go hand-and-hand for me? "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves." My sin is there. But until I address the shadows, life will continue to happen to me. I have to give it to Jesus and allow Him to take control so that I can have a life of purpose. So that I can make life happen for Him instead of allowing life to happen to me.

Walking in the light is scary. Light always casts the shadows of sin. Being intentional is scary. You have to own up to things and take responsibility for your own life and mistakes. But going through life without meaning scares me way more. I want to hear when I die, "Well done, my good and faithful daughter. You lived a life that was lovely to Me."

A Letter to My Girls

This is a letter I wrote to my middle school girls because I can't be with them at church tonight. For some reason, I thought I should share.
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My sweet girls,

I'm sorry I can't be with you tonight, but I bet I know what you each are thinking about...Valentine's Day. I remember all the same emotions and thoughts you are having. I have had them all. Excitement, anxiety, nervousness, jealously, sadness, hope, and hopelessness. Maybe you have a boyfriend, maybe a crush, or maybe you think Valentine's Day is stupid and you stay away from love. All of this is okay! There have been years I had a Valentine's date and years I haven't had a Valentine at all. Some years were awesome and some really sucked. I've had my heart broke and I've been in love. As you all know too well, life is unpredictable in the best and worst ways. One day you love life...the next day is so hard that you don't know how you will make it through the day. Can I tell you something? Valentine's Day is the same way. February 14th will either be incredible or it will suck. Rarely is there an in between. It's hard when your crush doesn't like you back. It sucks when your Valentine lets you down. And watching other couples is sometimes gross and annoying. But then February 15th comes and the hype is over just like that. The thing you were either so excited about or absolutely dreading is over in one short day.

So why do we get so worked up over this one day? The answer is simple. Love. Valentine's Day brings the hope of love. And love is a dangerously powerful emotion. We all want it. We all crave it. We all need it. Love makes us happy. Gives us hope. Makes us feel special and important. Makes us feel like someone cares. Makes us girls feel beautiful. Love is an entirely unique emotion. There's a reason there isn't a day devoted to excitement or sadness. Love encompasses almost every other emotion somehow or some way. Love is what everyone thinks about, dreams about, works for, and fights for.

But love should never be confined to one day. Love should be a lifestyle. It was Jesus' entire life...and death. God is love. Out of love He made you before you were born. Because of love He watches over you and knows your heart perfectly. He knows every hair on your head and thought in your brain. Because He loves you, He wants a relationship with you. And not just any relationship. He wants a relationship so much better than any relationship you can imagine or dream up. Because He loves you, He made sure you had a choice to have that relationship. You girls hear me say it all the time, but life is all about choices. And it's up to you. But because He loves you, God's son Jesus left a perfect, wonderful Heaven to live a life with us in an imperfect world. Because He loves you, He suffered every day to teach us and we can now read all about it in the Bible. Because He loves you, He realized our sin was keeping us from that relationship with God and wanted to do something about it. He loves you so much He knew He had to do something to prove His love. Because He loves you, He willingly died for sins He never committed. He was perfect, but He sacrificed His life in your place. The wages of sins is death. We are sinful, but He didn't want us to have the death we deserved. Because He loves you, He died in your place so that you can have a choice. Before Jesus, sin kept us from God. We didn't have a choice. But because Jesus took our death, we can choose. But the crazy thing is that Jesus died knowing that choice could you mean you don't choose Him. He loves you so much that it didn't matter what you would do one day with your choice. He didn't wait for us to promise to choose Him. He didn't wait for us to get our acts together and be perfect. The only thing that mattered to Him was that you had the choice. He loves you. Like crazy. And He's waiting. He always has been and always will be. But if you haven't made the choice for yourself, you're missing out on so much. Don't wait.

You see, we confine love to one day...Valentine's. But every day for God is about love. He gave us the Bible so that we can read His love notes every single day, anytime we wanted or needed. He wants you to talk to Him every day, and unlike boys, He never gets tired of listening to us. He shows us He loves us all the time in friends, sunsets, and food to eat. These are called blessings and they will last far longer than any teddy bear, chocolate, or flowers.

But it's your choice. I can't make it for you. I would have already if I could because I know how great this love is. God loves you and wants you. So whether you end up having a great Valentine's Day or not, remember there is someone who is willingly to shower you with love, comfort, strength, hope, and attention every single day of the year. Crushes are fun! Getting valentines are fun! Enjoy it! But on February 15th when all the excitement is over, remember the one who designed love in the first place. Remember the one who proved His love with more than words or candy. He proved it by taking your place in death and offering you the choice of eternal life with God. He proves His love and never lets you down. He doesn't promise perfect days, but He promises that His love will never leave or go away.

I really do hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever. But like choosing Jesus, having a good Valentine's Day is your choice. Make it a great day. Have fun. Smile. Laugh. Don't put all your hope and dreams on what you get. Remember, love is a lifestyle. Go do something nice for someone else instead of waiting on a guy to do something for you. Making someone else's day always makes you feel better. Love isn't a just a feeling. Love is action. So go give love to people around you. But above all else I hope you see and accept the love waiting on you from Jesus. He is a Valentine that will never disappoint.

I'm always here for you girls,
Krysta

Miracles for Many

Do you sometimes read the Bible and wonder, "God, where is my miracle?" 
You've heard the stories. Jesus heals a leper. Jesus feeds 5,000. Jesus raises the dead. Jesus calms the storm. Jesus calls out demons.
And here I am just trying to figure out how I'm going to survive my last semester of undergraduate studies. My life seems to fail in comparison to lives of many people Jesus has touched. Can you imagine how the life of the man, Lazarus, who was dead and then Jesus brought back to life changed (John 11:38-43)? Can you imagine how the disciples felt to be in the presence of a man who literally calmed every furious wind and engulfing waves in the sea (Luke 8:22-35)?
I read these stories in the comfort of my bedroom while drinking tea. An exciting day for me can mean getting Taco Bell for dinner. Not quite as miraculous.
Or maybe I'm missing it. Maybe I'm blind to the great works of God every single day. Maybe I have a very skewed definition of miracles to begin with.

A miracle according to Merriam-Webster is "an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment."
Something out of the ordinary. Something that either can or cannot be explained. A plot twist and game-changer that was not expected by our own plan.

Okay. So I've had one or two of those. I have joked that my life encompasses every single thing that I said would never happen, but really the joke is on me. I grew up knowing my future career. My future college. My future husband. My future home. I had my life planned out perfectly, and here I am with a completely different vision.

I always said I would never NOT coach....I don't have time for coaching anymore.
I always said I would never work with middle schoolers and teenagers...many of my biggest dreams involve that age group.
I always thought I would never leave Springfield...I now have no idea where I will end up and that's totally okay.
I always thought my high school sweetheart would be my husband...here I am out of an entirely different engagement and single again and it's all good.
I always thought I didn't want kids...I dream of adoption every single day.

Do you get my point? My life is nothing short of the miraculous intervention of Jesus and I wouldn't change it for the world. The life I envisioned is nothing like what I have, and yet I am confident that Jesus is giving me a life much more full than any I could imagine.
He saves me from my own foolish plans every day. That's a miracle.
And He saved me from sin years ago and continues to do that to this day. That's a miracle. This miracle alone should be enough for us all.

So, then what's the difference? What's the difference between me and the people in the Bible? Why do their miracles seem so much bigger? It's what they do with it.

God gives us miracles in order to tell others about it...to glorify Himself. God gives us these game-changer miracles in order to change the world.

Look at the story in Mark 5: 1-20. Jesus heals another man with a demon and this man was so amazed and thankful that he asks to be a disciple of Jesus. But Jesus' response in verse 19 is, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." Jesus knew this man would have the biggest impact on the the world by telling his miracle to everyone around him. The other disciples didn't have a story to tell like this man's. He had a unique miracle to share, and I bet you do too.

So the difference is what you do with your life because ultimately your life is a miracle in itself. You are here. You are alive. Have you ever thought about all it takes to keep you alive? Seriously, stop and think about every single thing  your body goes through every second to maintain life. Who did that? No one could have orchestrated that but God. It's too complex and unexplainable. You are a miracle. And I bet you have those miracle moments. The difference is these people let the miracles change them and now people get to read about it for the rest of time. I guess that's why I keep this blog. It is accounts of my own miracles. Of what I'm learning. Of what Jesus is doing in my life.

What's your miracle? I'd love to hear it and Jesus would love you to share it. It is yours for a reason. I bet it came with some pain and heartache and hard work, but it's yours. So practice sharing it. Share it with me at krysta.baker@yahoo.com. I can't wait to praise Jesus with you for His work.

A Fresh Start

2014.


New year. New things. New beginnings. New chances. New opportunities. New goals. New you.

Right?

Isn't that what the new year promises?

So we spend all our thoughts and energy on resolutions and possibilities. We spend our money on new clothes and gym memberships. We pray for change. We hope for something that will make this year better, bigger, and more fulfilling than the last.

But then we fail to meet our goals. The big job doesn't come. The relationship ends. The thing you prayed for doesn't happen. And suddenly, this year starts to look a lot like the last one. Maybe even worse.

When will we learn? A new year is nothing more than another day. And every day is new. Every day offers opportunity for change. A chance to make things right. Yet we put so much of our hope in this year. We miss the point. We miss the truth.

The last few months, I've been following a devotional called She Reads Truth. I am so inspired by the new study which is about to begin, A Fresh Start, and I challenge you to do it with me.

A Fresh Start. Isn't that what we are all looking for in a new year? But we already have it.

In Christ, we are made new.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

And if we desire it, we are continually made new.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

We have promises.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

And with God, we cannot fail. God knows I'm a sinner, and with that comes the real possibility I'm going to mess up. A lot. But God is never confined to my screw ups and poor choices. His plan and purpose for my life isn't halted because of my misdirection. He works all things for good (Romans 8:28). Now while our definitions of what is good may differ for the time being, it says ALL things. That doesn't just mean when I am perfectly following Him. It also means when I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and act the wrong way. God is fully capable of righting my wrongs because He always see a bigger picture. The good He makes is His good. This may mean pain, suffering, humility, confusion, obedience, uncertainty, and repentance, but we are promised so much more in the end.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18
Whatever we face here--good or bad--isn't even in the same ballpark as what we will see one day with Jesus Christ. We keep looking for the next big thing in 2014 which will change everything, but the fact is that we serve the ultimate Game-Changer Himself. So I can rest assured knowing that I cannot fail. My resolutions may fail by the end of the month, but God doesn't quit. I can cut my hair, but God doesn't measure my worth by my appearance. I can quit my job, drop out of school, and move to China, and God will be there working it for His glory. 

Isn't that the most freeing and liberating news you've ever heard? You cannot fail in 2014. 

So I'll leave you with this. It's from the devotion that is beginning. I hope you get as excited about it as I am. And I hope instead of putting your hope in the promise of a new year, you find your promises in Jesus, because He gives us all reason to be excited for what's to come.

When You Need a Map

Lost.
Ever felt lost? Yeah, I just heard you sigh with the realization that you have felt like that before. That you feel like that right now.

Webster defines lost in an interesting way...
not knowing where you are
no longer held, owned, or possessed.

When you're lost, you lose focus. You aren't concerned with where you are going because you have no idea where you are. You can't determine a path without knowing your current location. So being lost is dangerous.
You're stuck. You're confused. You're scared. You're vulnerable.

My current state of lost has been debilitating. Because I've been so caught up in my own situation, I've been entirely selfish. So it's time I find where I am. It's time to rediscover who I am. My feeling of lost has been caused by both intentional and unintentional attack against who I thought I was. These attacks have left me hurt, stuck, and entirely vulnerable to Satan. The attacks I feel aren't necessarily from the people. These attacks are from Satan and I have allowed them to penetrate my thoughts and heart. This has caused me to question who I am, what I believe, who I thought I am, and who I am becoming. Though I'm not, I've felt alone. I no longer feel held, owned, or possesed. I no longer know where I am. I've been the textbook definition of lost. But this is not acceptable any longer. But where to go from here? I can't figure out where to go without first figuring out where I am. Without first figuring out who I am.

I am not a mistake. |Ephesians 2:10| 

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

I don't always know what's going on. I don't always see my purpose or my place. Sometimes I wonder, "Why am I here, God? Why do you have me here right now?" And honestly, I don't always know. Sometimes my purpose is clear, but when things get rocky, I lose sight of that. But I can rest assured that I am not a mistake. I am here for a reason. There is something to be done. In all circumstances, I must glorify Christ. That is my purpose above all else. And God specifically made me with gifts, talents, and abilities to do that very thing. He knit me together perfectly. He made no mistake. I am intentionally made. Like a artist loves his painting, God finds me without blemish and His prized creation.

I am not forgotten. |Philippians 1:6|

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

You know the feeling well, I am sure of this. The feeling of being forgotten. The feeling of being alone. But God never abandons His children. If you have given your heart to Him, He will NEVER leave your side. If you are alive, He is still working in your life. And even though I forgot this truth, He did not give up. This thought brings me to tears every single time. He is not finished with me yet. And He's not finished with you either. It doesn't matter what you've done or what you believe of yourself, He is a relentless love, continually in pursuit of your heart. You are never ever forgotten by God.

I am not alone. |John 15:15|

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing;
but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

God is so big, He is King of all. Yet He is so personal, He is my friend. I can't even imagine this. It is something I have yet to comprehend completely because those two qualities don't naturally go together. He knows all, rules all, and controls all, yet He so passionately loves me, that He wants for me to call Him friend. He wants me to know His heart completely. He wants to talk with me. He wants to give me wisdom. He just wants time with me. He is my friend, and I am never alone. 

I am weak, but that's okay. |2 Corinthians 12:9-10|

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  

These verses have got me through some of the hardest times in my life. God so uniquely reminds us that it is okay to not always be okay. In Isaiah 53:3, we are reminded that Jesus is a "man of sorrows, much acquainted with grief." He lived with pain and suffering every single day. He gets it. He knows how hard things can get, and because He overcame all sin and death, we can trust Him to do the same for us (John 16:33). Through the cross, Jesus proved Himself entirely capable to fight for us. When we are at our weakest, God is able to shine through us the brightest because it is so clearly seen that it is by His strength alone that we push on. When I am beaten down, God shows up in a big way. He is my strength and refuge (Psalm 46:1), and by His strength alone will I endure. I don't have to rely on myself anymore. It's okay to not always have it all together. He does. 

I am valuable. |1 Corinthians 6:20|

for you were bought with a price.

In the eyes of God, I am worthy. He sent His one and only Son--His most prized possession--for me. He paid the ultimate cost, which is death, for me. God gave Jesus for me. Jesus suffered for me. And now He waits for me. Why on earth would I continue to seek my value in the words of anyone else but God? When I compare what God did for me to what others do for me, I realize to whom I belong. I am paid for and my debt of sin is clear. I mean everything to God. He loves when I don't and He forgives when I don't, because to Him, the extra work is worth it...because I am worth it. And you are too.

I am protected. |Romans 8:31-39| 

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 These verses speak for themselves. When I feel attacked, I must remember that God will fight for me. I must remember that no matter what I endure or what hurts me, nothing is comparable to the joy I will find in heaven with God (Romans 8:18). In God, I don't just have to make it. I am a conqueror in Christ. Because He will eventually triumph over all evil, I will too. Nothing I do and nothing anyone else does will separate me from God. So it doesn't matter what people say about me, all that matters is what God says about me, because their words don't change His opinion of me. To Him, I am lovely and I am His. He will protect my heart if I just let Him have it.

I am forgiven. |Isaiah 53:5|

But he was pierced for our transgressions;
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
    and with his wounds we are healed.

When people point out my flaws, my weaknesses, my insufficiency, or even make up ones to get me down, I must remember I am forgiven. When I forget what Jesus did for me on the cross--how He took the beatings, mocking, hatred, pain, and unimaginable death--I am saying it wasn't good enough. I am saying to God, "it's cool and all that you sent your one and only Son for me, but that wasn't enough. His death was for nothing because it just doesn't cover this sin, God. I'm glad He did it, but You are not enough for me." Do you honestly believe that today? Do I believe that? The last month of my life shows that I have, but I refuse to believe it anymore. When Christ died on the cross, He died for everyone and every sin. Mine included. When I forget what Christ did for me, I forget who I am. I forget who I am, because I forget who He is. And He is mighty, powerful, just, and King. He calls Himself the great I AM. The ruler of all. So high and grand that He rules the universe, yet so intimate that He knows my heart.

When I question who I am, I must remember who I AM is. The contents of this blog would never be enough to explain the great I AM, let alone what He thinks of me. But this is my reminder. This is my map. And I hope you find one too. My word is "lovely." When I meet Jesus one day, I so desperately want Him to call me "lovely." Maybe in another post, I'll explain exactly what lovely means to me, but what about you? What do you want Jesus to call you? What does Jesus call you now? God no longer looks at my faults, my sins, or my baggage. He is fully aware I have it and He is constantly refining me to be more like His Son, but when God looks at me, I am confident that despite how I feel that day, I am lovely to Him. This word is my reminder. I hope you find your own.

I am not lost; I am lovely.

Lots of New Things

So, I'm not even sure where to begin...
I started school. My last semester of classes for undergraduate work.
Vertical Access is back!
My job has changed quite a bit.
Oh, and I'm engaged.

Yep, I'm back in the saddle again. School has begun and there's nothing I can do to stop it now. I'm not even currently sure what to think about my new semester. It's looks deceivingly easy compared to my past semesters. Now don't misunderstand. It will still be tough, mostly because of my other obligations. But it doesn't look impossible. I do, however, always always always get overwhelmed at the beginning. I look at my syllabus and freak out. I hate seeing every single assignment layed out before me. I'm an overdoer, so naturally I want to do it all at once. I would live so much better if only my teachers would give me one thing at a time to work on. But they don't do that. So I will learn to cope yet again.

Vertical Access is finally back! I'm so incredibly excited for this next year. For you who don't know, Vertical Access is the college ministry of High Street Baptist Church. We reach out to college students--mainly focusing on Missouri State, Drury, Evangel, Baptist Bible College, and OTC. We meet Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, as well as special events and get-togethers. We have totally revamped Vertical Access this past year and we are praying that we followed Jesus in these efforts. Our goal as a community is to "magnify the glory of God by providing an environment for Christians to thrive spiritually and engaging people who aren't Christians with the gospel." I truly believe we are closer to this purpose than ever before. If you want to learn more about Vertical Access or High Street, check us out or just ask me! You can always comment below!
https://www.facebook.com/va.hsbc
www.highstreet.org

So I'm still at South Haven, but my role is constantly changing here. Originally, I wasn't going to work here this semester, but I love it too much and my boss is too great. But because of my schedule and restrictions due to VA, I am playing a much different part. My main focus until next February is Upward Basketball and Cheerleading. I will be heading this up single-handedly but I'm ready. This is something I know I can manage and it will be good. Last semester it was a tad chaotic because three people were trying to make it work, and then add in some volunteers and no one had a clue who did what when. Now, it is my task to get things done, organize, and deligate tasks so that we know exactly who is doing what when.
The hardest part about this semester is backing off of our neighborhood program because of Vertical Access. I know where my heart lies and where I am called, but I want so badly to be Super Girl and do it all. I have so many relationships with this middle schoolers and I hate that now I have to leave early every week in order to be at VA and preform my president duties. I know it's the right thing, but leaving will always be tough. Which again reminds me that I will leave this job in February and have to move on. I know it's what has to happen, but it won't be an easy time at all.

And finally, the most shocking news of all... I'm engaged! I'm engaged to the most incredible, Godly man I can imagine. I'm sure you hear this from many girls, but Taylor is the guy that I convinced myself I would never find. I saw relationships like my pastor's and his wife's marriage and saw it's beauty and value, but thought it was only for a select few... and that didn't include me. Luckly, Jesus saw fit to give me a man that draws me closer to Christ before himself. That challenges me in the best ways. And to quote Paul, often becomes the "thorn in my side" when I begin to fall away. He leads me spiritually and protects me physically and emotionally. And now he is going to be mine til death do we part!

Taylor and I actually have a wedding website where you can view pictures, read our stories, and find out all sorts of things! It's actually pretty fun to look at. I'm constantly changing and updating it because it's not totally done, but please check it out!
www.theknot.com/wedding/Taylor-and-Krysta

Time Really Isn't On Your Side. It's His.

"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." -William Penn

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."       -Yale Richmond

"Those who make the worst of their time most complain about its shortness." – La Bruyere

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."  -Ephesians 5:15-17


Time. We all want more. We all waste it.
I know, because I have been lately.

And I worry about it so much! It's not like it will slow down or speed up just from my thoughts.
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" (Matthew 6:27)

Lately I've been caught in the worry of my last year of college. I worry that I may push myself too far. Spread myself too thin. Try to do too much.

But then again....

I think about all the time I waste. I think about the moments I'm laying around on my phone or watching a silly TV show. I think about the moments I'm staying up late doing basically nothing, then complain about how tired I am. I complain about my busyiness, all the while spending my time idiotically.

God knows our limits. He gave us 24-hour days for a reason. He knows we are only capable of so much each hour, each day, each week. He knows my capabilites and calls me to live within them. We can only do so much. But then He warns us about how we should spend our time.

You won't find anywhere in the Bible which tells me to lay around and spend my time selfishly. Yes, we are to take time for God above all else, which can mean a relaxing afternoon spent reading His word--but that isn't selfish. Selfish is my zombie hours in which I spend watching "Say Yes to the Dress," without thinking an intellegent thought or doing a productive activity. These things do not relax me. They are a false sense of comfort in which I can so easily trust in.

Jesus says, "Come to me and I will give you true rest" (Matt 11:28-30). He knows I am most filled in Him. He knows only He can comfort my weary bones and restore my tired heart. Jesus understands the burden of our busy lives. He never intended for us to get bogged down in the crap we put ourselves through, but He offers restoration anyway.

I am so challenged to use my time for wisely.

God calls me to spend my time loving others. Not myself.
God calls me to spend my time serving others. Not serve my selfish desires.
God calls me to spend my time telling the world about Him. Not stay in my comfortable bubble.
God calls me to spend my time becoming more like Jesus every single day. Not to worship myself.
God calls me to spend my time glorifying His Name. Not to make much of myself.

Now when I get worried about time, I have to take a step back and look about how I'm spending it. More than likely, it's not more time I need...I need more Jesus.