A Good Advocate

"My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world."

**1 John 2:1-3**

A few weeks ago, I was able to attend Advocacy Day at the Missouri capitol in Jefferson City. As a social work student, I was given this opportunity and immediately jumped at the chance. While I love many areas of social work, the work of policy, legislation, and the government are not quite up to par when compared to other skills and knowledge. While there, I met some politicians, lobbyists, and representatives. Other than their outdated suites and fake smiles, one thing they all had in common were their role as advocates.

Advocate = a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy

As a future social worker, one of the many hats we wear is the advocate. We fight for the causes of the vulnerable. We give a voice to the meek. We empower the powerless. We shine a light on the forgotten and we justify the victims. As an advocate, we take the pain, suffering, and hurts of others and find a way to defend them.

At Advocacy Day this year, there was a Disability Rights rally in the capitol while we were there. As I stood and watched people get so passionate over a cause, I couldn't help but think about Jesus as my own advocate. One after another, people stood up to defend each other and to fight for justice. In 1 John 2, Jesus Christ Himself is called our advocate.

Here's what I envision when I think of Jesus as my advocate...
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I picture Jesus standing at a podium before the Righteous Judge, His Father, and me standing guilty beside Jesus in a courtroom. God is sitting so high and powerful before us that I seem like a tiny fleck in His presence. A long list is before Jesus, and as soon as I realize what this list is, I get sick to my stomach. These are my sins. One by one, my sins are revealed out loud to the face of God. I cannot even look up into His eyes because of my shame. But for some reason, God's face never changes. As a Perfect Judge, I would expect some angry, wrath, or punishment to be brewing in God's mind...but I never see it as I cautiously look up from the floor. Because when Jesus finishes reading my list, the next words bring me to my knees. As I await my sentencing, Jesus takes my hand to steady my nerves. He simply says, "Father, the wages of sin are death, but it is finished."

IT IS FINISHED.

After my sins have been read, I can hardly stand to be in the same room as two so Holy. I cannot believe the wrongs I have allowed myself to do throughout my 22 years of life. I am so embarrassed to stand in front of God that I want to literally run away and hide in a hole. But then Jesus says, "it is finished." And as I look up to make sure it's real, God says the last thing I would expect Him to ever say at this time..."Well done, my good and faithful servant."
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Are you like me and cannot even imagine this? After all I've done, He says "good job" and that's it? I don't get a lecture? I don't at least get a slap on the hand?

No.

It is finished.

The "well done" is not because of anything single thing that I have accomplished or earned. There is nothing I can do to earn forgiveness or earn more of it. I can stand confidently before God because of my advocate. The one who pleads, begs, and fights for me and my cause...my salvation and my heart. Each and every day, Jesus stands next to the Father and advocates for me. Every time I sin, it's like Jesus is reminding the Judge, "forgive her Father, for I take her sin and it is finished. Let me have her sins. Let me have her baggage. Let me have her pain. I have already won her life through My death on the Cross."

Today is Good Friday and the thought of Jesus as my advocate is burning in my mind and heart. Jesus fights for me every day, but no fight was greater than His defeat of sin and death. My list of sins is far too long, yet He takes my hand and says "it is finished." When I realize this like I do now, I cannot hold back the tears of thankfulness. When I stand before God, I will hear the words I have always longed for, but it will not be because of me. When God says "well done," He will be thinking of His Son but looking at me. He will be looking at me with His grace-filled eyes with the love of His Son in His heart.

It is finished.

Pieces

My life has been a whirlwind of epiphanies lately. God has been teaching me more than I can keep up with and it's so hard to keep up with all His lessons. I've had to admit sins in my life, forgive myself and others, and start to see myself how Jesus sees me. Tonight, this song really connected with me. I hope you find comfort and belonging in the lyrics like I did.

Pieces by Meredith Andrews
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It's a complex puzzle you call your life
It's an uphill climb, it's a constant fight
And it wears you down
Feeling like you're alone, like you don't belong
And you won't be loved if you don't measure up
And you wear your scars
Like they're who you are

Give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces
All your questions, all your secrets
You don't have to hide who you are
You belong to someone greater
Than all your past mistakes and failures
Rest in who He is
He knows how to make your pieces fit

He's the light on the road when you're lost in the dark
And He won't run away if you show your heart
Wants you to believe it
You can taste that freedom

When you give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces
All your questions, all your secrets
You don't have to hide who you are
You belong to someone greater
Than all your past mistakes and failures
Rest in who He is
He knows how to make your pieces fit

You are completely known
You are completely loved
This is where you belong

Give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces
All your questions, all your secrets
You don't have to hide who you are
You belong to someone greater
Than all your past mistakes and failures
Rest in who He is
He knows how to make your pieces fit 

An Honest Journal Entry

So I've been keeping a rather interesting journal lately (but more on that another day). Here is an honest, raw, and humble entry I wrote yesterday. I pray you find comfort, peace, or strength in it somehow.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).

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Dear God,

Thank You for this season of my life. It's definitely not easy, but it has been an incredible growing opportunity that I know You are using. Thank You for helping me move on, but Father, I need some help truly forgiving myself. I need help finding my identity in You and You alone. I keep seeking approval from everyone around me. I want them to validate my choices and to support my decisions, but I'm letting their opinions have far too much weight. God, help me find the balance between keeping my reputation and testimony with those in my life and putting my future in their hands. Give me the courage to live my life with only Your opinion, plan, and will as my guide and standard. Give me the Holy Spirit to decipher Your words and will in my life.

Thank You, Father, for never giving up on me when I confuse Your will. Thank You that my future is not limited to what I have been. I'm struggling to see how I will ever be known as someone different than "the girl who was engaged." God, I know You call me "lovely, daughter, forgiven, blessed, conqueror, beloved..." but it's difficult for me to hear them with the voice in my head calling me, "liar, guilty, embarrassment, naive, immature, shameful..." There's a disconnect between what I know and what I believe. Please help Your words plant themselves in my heart. I can't move on fully without Your help.

Father, help those around me move on as well. To me, this seems like I'm requesting a miracle, but I'm going to ask it from You anyway. I know my actions have caused a lot of pain for many people, but please give them comfort, reassurance, and strength. Please forgive me for causing this to people. Please forgive me for the confusion my actions have caused for those around me, but please begin to reveal Your plan...even if in small ways. God, I know I cannot wait for everyone to approve of me, but I'm asking for Your protection as I navigate this journey with You. Give me patience to wait on Your will, but also allow Your will to be seen by those around me so they know it is of You. Let me be a light to those around me. Let them see the work You're doing and have been doing in my heart. Holy Spirit, speak and act through me, because my efforts will fail, but Yours will not. God, if you allow it, give me opportunities to share my story with other people. Allow my mistakes, struggles, and sins to make an impact for Your Kingdom. "When I am weak, you are strong." I want this to be a cry of my heart. I want a burden to make a change against the hurt in this world. If I can ease the aches of one girl through my broken engagement or past relationships, God, I will praise you for every tear I shed. Thank You for being my comfort and making my pain have purpose, but I pray for the young girls who do not know the love and security offered by You. Guide me to how I should help them. God, show yourself to them in big ways so they will realize that no relationship or guy can fill the holes in our hearts that was created for You.

Father, continue to shape me into Your daughter. Whatever it takes, form me into the lovely woman I long to become. I know the adventure to this is long and full of battles to overcome, but God, I know it's already won with You. Thank You that I'm already lovely in Your eyes and that I am given the freedom to be what I already am. Help me believe this truth. Help me "live according to my calling." Help me live lovely, because You already say I am, and help me live a life of agape.

Your sinful, but forgiven, daughter,
Krysta

Light Always Casts Shadows

Lately I feel like I have been learning the lesson of intentionality.
Life is all about choices, and unless you intentionally make choices, they will be made for you. It's one of those hard facts of life. Days will come whether I want them to or not, and how I spend it is up to me. But I don't want to be caught having life happen to me. I want to make life happen. I want to intentionally spend my time with Jesus every single day. I want to intentionally grow the relationships I have in my life. I want to intentionally serve the people God places in my place. I want to intentionally set time aside for exercise and sleep and small groups.

Well, I haven't been getting what I want. Shocker, right? But that's no one's fault but mine, because I've been letting life happen to me.

Sleep...I'll get time for that eventually. Lunch...maybe I'll get a break. Relationships...I'll text them back at some point in the next week. Exercise...that would be nice. Work...I just take things as they come and just continually add things to my to-do list without checking anything off.

But I'm getting to the point--finally--that I see how this is my own doing. That I see that all of this is my choice. It's not my busyness or my crazy schedule. It's how I am choosing to spend my time. It's my choices and priorities. 

Which leads me to the second lesson I've been learning...walking in the light.

1 John 1:5-10
"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 

 I will never be able to take control of my life. Ever. Things happen that I don't expect. I wake up having one schedule and throughout the day it quickly goes out the window in order to accommodate a new list of tasks. No matter how much life surprises me, it never surprises God. Nothing is thrown at me that wasn't first sifted through His hands. Although I cannot (and should never) be in control, I can let Him have control and see the wonderful fruits of His work. But He won't do that unless I ask. I believe wholeheartedly that God gives us the choice. Life is full of intentional choices, right? I can choose His way or I can choose mine. My way is chaos and life happening to me, but His way is in the light. And walking in the light is beautiful and meaningful and full of life...and terrifying.

Think of a gorgeous day in the spring (it's difficult to imagine what that feels like with all this winter weather but try anyway). The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And you are in the park. Now look around...do you see all the shadows? The sun casts shadows everywhere. That's what walking in the light of Jesus does too. Walking in the light casts the shadows of sin in our life. It clearly shows us what is standing between us and God, just like shadows show how the large tree is blocking the sun from the ground behind it. And I cannot eliminate those shadows from sin until I recognize it. I can turn my back for awhile and act like everything is fine, but the shadows are still there. The sin is there and it is blocking the light from parts of my life. It is putting Jesus in a box and keeping Him from a full relationship with me. And that's my choice.

Do you see how intentionality and walking in the light go hand-and-hand for me? "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves." My sin is there. But until I address the shadows, life will continue to happen to me. I have to give it to Jesus and allow Him to take control so that I can have a life of purpose. So that I can make life happen for Him instead of allowing life to happen to me.

Walking in the light is scary. Light always casts the shadows of sin. Being intentional is scary. You have to own up to things and take responsibility for your own life and mistakes. But going through life without meaning scares me way more. I want to hear when I die, "Well done, my good and faithful daughter. You lived a life that was lovely to Me."

A Letter to My Girls

This is a letter I wrote to my middle school girls because I can't be with them at church tonight. For some reason, I thought I should share.
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My sweet girls,

I'm sorry I can't be with you tonight, but I bet I know what you each are thinking about...Valentine's Day. I remember all the same emotions and thoughts you are having. I have had them all. Excitement, anxiety, nervousness, jealously, sadness, hope, and hopelessness. Maybe you have a boyfriend, maybe a crush, or maybe you think Valentine's Day is stupid and you stay away from love. All of this is okay! There have been years I had a Valentine's date and years I haven't had a Valentine at all. Some years were awesome and some really sucked. I've had my heart broke and I've been in love. As you all know too well, life is unpredictable in the best and worst ways. One day you love life...the next day is so hard that you don't know how you will make it through the day. Can I tell you something? Valentine's Day is the same way. February 14th will either be incredible or it will suck. Rarely is there an in between. It's hard when your crush doesn't like you back. It sucks when your Valentine lets you down. And watching other couples is sometimes gross and annoying. But then February 15th comes and the hype is over just like that. The thing you were either so excited about or absolutely dreading is over in one short day.

So why do we get so worked up over this one day? The answer is simple. Love. Valentine's Day brings the hope of love. And love is a dangerously powerful emotion. We all want it. We all crave it. We all need it. Love makes us happy. Gives us hope. Makes us feel special and important. Makes us feel like someone cares. Makes us girls feel beautiful. Love is an entirely unique emotion. There's a reason there isn't a day devoted to excitement or sadness. Love encompasses almost every other emotion somehow or some way. Love is what everyone thinks about, dreams about, works for, and fights for.

But love should never be confined to one day. Love should be a lifestyle. It was Jesus' entire life...and death. God is love. Out of love He made you before you were born. Because of love He watches over you and knows your heart perfectly. He knows every hair on your head and thought in your brain. Because He loves you, He wants a relationship with you. And not just any relationship. He wants a relationship so much better than any relationship you can imagine or dream up. Because He loves you, He made sure you had a choice to have that relationship. You girls hear me say it all the time, but life is all about choices. And it's up to you. But because He loves you, God's son Jesus left a perfect, wonderful Heaven to live a life with us in an imperfect world. Because He loves you, He suffered every day to teach us and we can now read all about it in the Bible. Because He loves you, He realized our sin was keeping us from that relationship with God and wanted to do something about it. He loves you so much He knew He had to do something to prove His love. Because He loves you, He willingly died for sins He never committed. He was perfect, but He sacrificed His life in your place. The wages of sins is death. We are sinful, but He didn't want us to have the death we deserved. Because He loves you, He died in your place so that you can have a choice. Before Jesus, sin kept us from God. We didn't have a choice. But because Jesus took our death, we can choose. But the crazy thing is that Jesus died knowing that choice could you mean you don't choose Him. He loves you so much that it didn't matter what you would do one day with your choice. He didn't wait for us to promise to choose Him. He didn't wait for us to get our acts together and be perfect. The only thing that mattered to Him was that you had the choice. He loves you. Like crazy. And He's waiting. He always has been and always will be. But if you haven't made the choice for yourself, you're missing out on so much. Don't wait.

You see, we confine love to one day...Valentine's. But every day for God is about love. He gave us the Bible so that we can read His love notes every single day, anytime we wanted or needed. He wants you to talk to Him every day, and unlike boys, He never gets tired of listening to us. He shows us He loves us all the time in friends, sunsets, and food to eat. These are called blessings and they will last far longer than any teddy bear, chocolate, or flowers.

But it's your choice. I can't make it for you. I would have already if I could because I know how great this love is. God loves you and wants you. So whether you end up having a great Valentine's Day or not, remember there is someone who is willingly to shower you with love, comfort, strength, hope, and attention every single day of the year. Crushes are fun! Getting valentines are fun! Enjoy it! But on February 15th when all the excitement is over, remember the one who designed love in the first place. Remember the one who proved His love with more than words or candy. He proved it by taking your place in death and offering you the choice of eternal life with God. He proves His love and never lets you down. He doesn't promise perfect days, but He promises that His love will never leave or go away.

I really do hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever. But like choosing Jesus, having a good Valentine's Day is your choice. Make it a great day. Have fun. Smile. Laugh. Don't put all your hope and dreams on what you get. Remember, love is a lifestyle. Go do something nice for someone else instead of waiting on a guy to do something for you. Making someone else's day always makes you feel better. Love isn't a just a feeling. Love is action. So go give love to people around you. But above all else I hope you see and accept the love waiting on you from Jesus. He is a Valentine that will never disappoint.

I'm always here for you girls,
Krysta

Miracles for Many

Do you sometimes read the Bible and wonder, "God, where is my miracle?" 
You've heard the stories. Jesus heals a leper. Jesus feeds 5,000. Jesus raises the dead. Jesus calms the storm. Jesus calls out demons.
And here I am just trying to figure out how I'm going to survive my last semester of undergraduate studies. My life seems to fail in comparison to lives of many people Jesus has touched. Can you imagine how the life of the man, Lazarus, who was dead and then Jesus brought back to life changed (John 11:38-43)? Can you imagine how the disciples felt to be in the presence of a man who literally calmed every furious wind and engulfing waves in the sea (Luke 8:22-35)?
I read these stories in the comfort of my bedroom while drinking tea. An exciting day for me can mean getting Taco Bell for dinner. Not quite as miraculous.
Or maybe I'm missing it. Maybe I'm blind to the great works of God every single day. Maybe I have a very skewed definition of miracles to begin with.

A miracle according to Merriam-Webster is "an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment."
Something out of the ordinary. Something that either can or cannot be explained. A plot twist and game-changer that was not expected by our own plan.

Okay. So I've had one or two of those. I have joked that my life encompasses every single thing that I said would never happen, but really the joke is on me. I grew up knowing my future career. My future college. My future husband. My future home. I had my life planned out perfectly, and here I am with a completely different vision.

I always said I would never NOT coach....I don't have time for coaching anymore.
I always said I would never work with middle schoolers and teenagers...many of my biggest dreams involve that age group.
I always thought I would never leave Springfield...I now have no idea where I will end up and that's totally okay.
I always thought my high school sweetheart would be my husband...here I am out of an entirely different engagement and single again and it's all good.
I always thought I didn't want kids...I dream of adoption every single day.

Do you get my point? My life is nothing short of the miraculous intervention of Jesus and I wouldn't change it for the world. The life I envisioned is nothing like what I have, and yet I am confident that Jesus is giving me a life much more full than any I could imagine.
He saves me from my own foolish plans every day. That's a miracle.
And He saved me from sin years ago and continues to do that to this day. That's a miracle. This miracle alone should be enough for us all.

So, then what's the difference? What's the difference between me and the people in the Bible? Why do their miracles seem so much bigger? It's what they do with it.

God gives us miracles in order to tell others about it...to glorify Himself. God gives us these game-changer miracles in order to change the world.

Look at the story in Mark 5: 1-20. Jesus heals another man with a demon and this man was so amazed and thankful that he asks to be a disciple of Jesus. But Jesus' response in verse 19 is, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." Jesus knew this man would have the biggest impact on the the world by telling his miracle to everyone around him. The other disciples didn't have a story to tell like this man's. He had a unique miracle to share, and I bet you do too.

So the difference is what you do with your life because ultimately your life is a miracle in itself. You are here. You are alive. Have you ever thought about all it takes to keep you alive? Seriously, stop and think about every single thing  your body goes through every second to maintain life. Who did that? No one could have orchestrated that but God. It's too complex and unexplainable. You are a miracle. And I bet you have those miracle moments. The difference is these people let the miracles change them and now people get to read about it for the rest of time. I guess that's why I keep this blog. It is accounts of my own miracles. Of what I'm learning. Of what Jesus is doing in my life.

What's your miracle? I'd love to hear it and Jesus would love you to share it. It is yours for a reason. I bet it came with some pain and heartache and hard work, but it's yours. So practice sharing it. Share it with me at krysta.baker@yahoo.com. I can't wait to praise Jesus with you for His work.

A Fresh Start

2014.


New year. New things. New beginnings. New chances. New opportunities. New goals. New you.

Right?

Isn't that what the new year promises?

So we spend all our thoughts and energy on resolutions and possibilities. We spend our money on new clothes and gym memberships. We pray for change. We hope for something that will make this year better, bigger, and more fulfilling than the last.

But then we fail to meet our goals. The big job doesn't come. The relationship ends. The thing you prayed for doesn't happen. And suddenly, this year starts to look a lot like the last one. Maybe even worse.

When will we learn? A new year is nothing more than another day. And every day is new. Every day offers opportunity for change. A chance to make things right. Yet we put so much of our hope in this year. We miss the point. We miss the truth.

The last few months, I've been following a devotional called She Reads Truth. I am so inspired by the new study which is about to begin, A Fresh Start, and I challenge you to do it with me.

A Fresh Start. Isn't that what we are all looking for in a new year? But we already have it.

In Christ, we are made new.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

And if we desire it, we are continually made new.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

We have promises.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

And with God, we cannot fail. God knows I'm a sinner, and with that comes the real possibility I'm going to mess up. A lot. But God is never confined to my screw ups and poor choices. His plan and purpose for my life isn't halted because of my misdirection. He works all things for good (Romans 8:28). Now while our definitions of what is good may differ for the time being, it says ALL things. That doesn't just mean when I am perfectly following Him. It also means when I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and act the wrong way. God is fully capable of righting my wrongs because He always see a bigger picture. The good He makes is His good. This may mean pain, suffering, humility, confusion, obedience, uncertainty, and repentance, but we are promised so much more in the end.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18
Whatever we face here--good or bad--isn't even in the same ballpark as what we will see one day with Jesus Christ. We keep looking for the next big thing in 2014 which will change everything, but the fact is that we serve the ultimate Game-Changer Himself. So I can rest assured knowing that I cannot fail. My resolutions may fail by the end of the month, but God doesn't quit. I can cut my hair, but God doesn't measure my worth by my appearance. I can quit my job, drop out of school, and move to China, and God will be there working it for His glory. 

Isn't that the most freeing and liberating news you've ever heard? You cannot fail in 2014. 

So I'll leave you with this. It's from the devotion that is beginning. I hope you get as excited about it as I am. And I hope instead of putting your hope in the promise of a new year, you find your promises in Jesus, because He gives us all reason to be excited for what's to come.