This Season

My mind has been everywhere in this season of my life.

I have a million ideas but not a lot of opportunity.  I have always been doing something.  I have always held some sort of leadership position and had my hand in plenty of projects, ministries, and groups....but this time in my life is different. And I can't say I'm fond of it.

I can feel my heart searching for what's next.  I'm looking for the next big thing I can do; the next thing I can be a part of.  I feel lost without people looking to me for instruction.  I feel useless, honestly.  I want to do something...but what? 

When I stop and realize the opportunities I have, I realize God has me here for a reason. I may not be in leadership where I am comfortable, but I have an awesome opportunity to learn. I have time to dig into the Word, and oh boy, has God been convicting me of the power of scripture. I could write an entire post just on this alone (and I probably will). I have the Word of God before me and I will always need to learn from it. I will always need the reminders of truth, wisdom, and love within the pages of the Bible. And now is prime time for me in growing in my personal relationship to him. I have no doubt that God has me where I am for this reason. Since moving on from the college ministry, I'm in a new crowd of new people to get to know.  I have such a passion for outreach and women's ministry, but I can't expect to jump head first into these ministries without first investing in them. It's time to be a participant. A servant in a whole new way.  I have the opportunity to learn from incredible women of God through discipleship and training... I just have to diligently pray about who these women will be (and if you would join me in that prayer, that would be great).  I am still involved in some projects, but not to the capacity I am used to.  I'm in a season of life in which I am needing to grow. God knows this. I feel strongly that there is something ahead of me that God is preparing me for. I have no idea what that is, but it's there. And I'm so excited to find out what it is.

Now in the meantime, I must grow. I must hunger for God's Word. He says scripture should be our daily bread.  By this, He means it is our meal...not a snack.  Our time reading and praying and learning shouldn't be on the side to our life. It should be what fuels our life. It should be what sustains us...not what gives us a little boost at the end of the day.  This is where I am.  I'm learning to take God at His Word. I'm learning to grow.  I'm learning how to be the learner.  It's humbling and difficult for me to take a step back, but I know there is purpose in that. God isn't forsaking me by taking me out of leadership. He is preparing me and designing me to be His daughter. His beloved. His servant. I'm pretty excited about that. God doesn't love me because I'm a leader. God loves me. Period. That's it. I don't need to do anything except rest in that. I hope you can too.