Light Always Casts Shadows

Lately I feel like I have been learning the lesson of intentionality.
Life is all about choices, and unless you intentionally make choices, they will be made for you. It's one of those hard facts of life. Days will come whether I want them to or not, and how I spend it is up to me. But I don't want to be caught having life happen to me. I want to make life happen. I want to intentionally spend my time with Jesus every single day. I want to intentionally grow the relationships I have in my life. I want to intentionally serve the people God places in my place. I want to intentionally set time aside for exercise and sleep and small groups.

Well, I haven't been getting what I want. Shocker, right? But that's no one's fault but mine, because I've been letting life happen to me.

Sleep...I'll get time for that eventually. Lunch...maybe I'll get a break. Relationships...I'll text them back at some point in the next week. Exercise...that would be nice. Work...I just take things as they come and just continually add things to my to-do list without checking anything off.

But I'm getting to the point--finally--that I see how this is my own doing. That I see that all of this is my choice. It's not my busyness or my crazy schedule. It's how I am choosing to spend my time. It's my choices and priorities. 

Which leads me to the second lesson I've been learning...walking in the light.

1 John 1:5-10
"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 

 I will never be able to take control of my life. Ever. Things happen that I don't expect. I wake up having one schedule and throughout the day it quickly goes out the window in order to accommodate a new list of tasks. No matter how much life surprises me, it never surprises God. Nothing is thrown at me that wasn't first sifted through His hands. Although I cannot (and should never) be in control, I can let Him have control and see the wonderful fruits of His work. But He won't do that unless I ask. I believe wholeheartedly that God gives us the choice. Life is full of intentional choices, right? I can choose His way or I can choose mine. My way is chaos and life happening to me, but His way is in the light. And walking in the light is beautiful and meaningful and full of life...and terrifying.

Think of a gorgeous day in the spring (it's difficult to imagine what that feels like with all this winter weather but try anyway). The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And you are in the park. Now look around...do you see all the shadows? The sun casts shadows everywhere. That's what walking in the light of Jesus does too. Walking in the light casts the shadows of sin in our life. It clearly shows us what is standing between us and God, just like shadows show how the large tree is blocking the sun from the ground behind it. And I cannot eliminate those shadows from sin until I recognize it. I can turn my back for awhile and act like everything is fine, but the shadows are still there. The sin is there and it is blocking the light from parts of my life. It is putting Jesus in a box and keeping Him from a full relationship with me. And that's my choice.

Do you see how intentionality and walking in the light go hand-and-hand for me? "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves." My sin is there. But until I address the shadows, life will continue to happen to me. I have to give it to Jesus and allow Him to take control so that I can have a life of purpose. So that I can make life happen for Him instead of allowing life to happen to me.

Walking in the light is scary. Light always casts the shadows of sin. Being intentional is scary. You have to own up to things and take responsibility for your own life and mistakes. But going through life without meaning scares me way more. I want to hear when I die, "Well done, my good and faithful daughter. You lived a life that was lovely to Me."