Today, I miss Haiti. This isn't a new emotion by any means, but anytime I get the chance to talk about it or slow down for too long and have time to think, I miss it. I wonder what the boys are doing; I wonder how the school is doing; I wonder what God is up to next in that country. So I thought tonight would be a good time to show some more pictures and share some thoughts.
This is one of my favorite photos of the trip. Now this tattoo was done for an entirely different reason, but the purpose is still shown. God is first in my life. And when I allow Him the full rights to my heart, it amazes me what He does with it. Like take me to the poorest country in the world. And introduce me to some of His cherished children. Like the children in this children's home for chronically ill kids. Like the one which held my hand and attention the entire afternoon. The way I looked at this girl and the way I loved her for that short time was a glimpse at the way God loves and looks upon me. This blows my mind.
This afternoon, we were able to hold a Bible lesson for the street kids! And all our boys came! We were able to share our love for Jesus in their language through the unbelievable heart of this teacher Mme. Thom (Cara Wimpelberg). This woman's passion for God is incredible, and her heart for the people of Haiti closely follows. Every Sunday before church, she gathers street kids below the church (right on the ocean!) and teaches them a Bible study, and she let us be a part of it. The kids paid attention the entire time and absolutely loved it. We taught them Daniel in the lion's den and provided a craft and a snack. For the first time, I was able to have a little conversation about God with Ben, and before I left for the week, he told me he would pray while I was gone. I cannot express my joy over this trip.
This is Livie. Livie was adopted from Haiti and she is a living picture of my heart for adoption. The moment I met her, we became best friends. Literally. She told me. Why she attached to me so quickly, I do not know. My guess is that God used this girl to show me a little part of His plan in my life to adopt internationally myself. But the entire week she called me "sissy," and I was just that. She got mad at me, laughed at me, sang with me, and cried on my shoulder. I love my new 5 year old sister.
So it's rare to find people willing to spend the entire trip in the streets with you. My friend here on the right, Halley, wasn't that friend. Halley would have spent every second out there whether I was there or not. It was such an incredible blessing to watch her connect with those boys and love on them. To know God can place people other than me in their life to love them is not only humbling, but an answered prayer. Kari, on the left, is from Illinois and I would have never met her if it weren't for Haiti. Her and I joked about starting a sports ministry in Haiti, and sometimes I pray that God would call my heart to something like that. I think it would be easier for Him to call me to Haiti than it would for me to stay here. Unfortunately, He has yet to call me overseas...but part of me will keep waiting. Kari, Halley, and I became family on this trip and luckily I still get to see Halley whenever I want. Turns out, I work at the church she attends, so she will be helping me with volleyball camps and maybe I'll even get to coach her in the future.
Finally, this photo. People have told me it shows pure joy from the heart, and to be honest, that's exactly it. Haiti is in me for life. No matter the pain I sometimes experience from being away, when I go back, I will find this joy again. And in the meantime, I will search for that same joy here. Because God holds my future. Not Haiti. If He calls me there, I'll go. If He calls me to Springfield, I'll stay. And if He calls me anywhere between, I'll go there too. Nothing is more important to me than that. Honestly, going to Haiti would be easy. Packing up and moving there would be a simple decision. But that's my heart and my desire. My goal is to figure out God's desire in my life, which might mean a more difficult decision. But I know in His desire is where I fill rediscover this same joy. For that week in Haiti, I was in God's desire. I was fully focused on Him in a way I'm still learning to find while here in the States, but it's not impossible to find. It's a journey to the center of His heart, and falling in love with Jesus has been the most incredible adventure I've began and will be the most daring of decisions I will make for the rest of my life.
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