tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66320953638738988032024-03-13T08:06:31.966-07:00Living Agapelivingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-5742862845099948112014-12-08T22:37:00.000-08:002014-12-09T10:20:33.207-08:00The Power of FearI can be so fearful sometimes. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision that it causes me to question the best things in my life.<br />
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<i>Am I hanging out with the right friends?</i><br />
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<i>Am I with the right guy?</i><br />
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<i>Am I in the right career path?</i><br />
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<i>Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?</i><br />
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<i>Am I saying what I'm supposed to be saying?</i><br />
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<i>Am I doing enough?</i><br />
<i><br />Am I enough?</i><br />
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Fear cripples the big dreams and loving heart that God has gifted me with. Fear prevents me from living out the very person I am designed to be. Fears breeds doubt and anxiousness. These are not Holy or good. These are not of God. <br />
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I've constantly been having to turn back to God's promises for this season I'm in...<br />
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<i>"do not fear; only believe." </i>Mark 5:36<br />
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<i>"casting all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you." </i>1 Peter 5:7<br />
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<i>"these things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be full." </i>John 5:11<br />
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A simple Thesaurus search of "fear" gives so much insight into this topic and what fears gives me...and what it keeps me from. <br />
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<h4>
<u>FEAR</u> <u>JESUS</u></h4>
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anxiety............................peace </div>
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doubt..............................faith</div>
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panic..............................calm</div>
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worry.............................assurance</div>
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timid..............................courage</div>
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uneasiness......................confidence</div>
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dread.............................hope</div>
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angst.............................comfort </div>
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It's pretty clear all the good I miss when I worship the idol of fear. Fear is opposite of Jesus and all He offers. Fear is against the nature of Jesus. Fear was hung on the Cross of Jesus, and when I choose to let fear take hold of my heart, I say that I don't need His death. Jesus gives so much, but His offer is an invitation. It is a comfort to know that realistically, my future is just fine. Though it seems far off and unsure, it will come and probably have more good than bad. I will look back on days such as this and those fears will be answered and I will realize my stupidity for worrying. </div>
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BUT.... those fears will only be replaced with new fears unless I get to the heart of the issue. My future is not my answer. Knowing that one day everything will be okay is not my comfort. Christ and Christ alone is my answer...my comfort, peace, confidence, hope, courage, and assurance. </div>
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The rest for my anxious heart is not that I have a future, but that Christ is my future. My fear is not erased in knowing that I have great things ahead, but in knowing that Christ goes before me. </div>
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Christ Jesus hung with the weight of my fear one dark day on the Cross. Jesus suffered with full knowledge in His heart that I would be writing this and I would be desperately needing His death to give my heart new life. Christ conquered sin and the finality of death so He could prove His capability and faithfulness in overcoming my fear. In fact, Christ doesn't just offer to take away my fear, but He invites me to replace it with Himself. All idols must be replaced. We can either choose what to replace the idol with or it will be chosen for us. We will worship something. Jesus offers to let that be Him. He doesn't demand I just get over my fear or move on, but He comes alongside me with so many blessings, so much understanding, and unexplainable grace. </div>
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Fear has no power over Him...and when I turn to Him, it has no power over me either. </div>
<br />livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-23431519792892301642014-11-13T21:26:00.000-08:002014-11-13T21:44:25.034-08:00School AssignmentAs an assignment for one of my master's level social work classes, I had to write a blog post. The blog post was up to us, but it essentially had to involve family policy in some way...<br />
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I thought I would share what I wrote.<br />
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As I mulled over our recent immigration
discussion, a specific thought kept coming to my mind...<br />
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<i>Why are people so
desperate to live in America?</i><br />
<br />
America is infested with greed, selfishness, entitlement, and
vanity. We live in a country where we spend more time watching Netflix
than we do talking with our family. We read how-to books on every
subject, yet seem to get little done. We are more concerned with
instagramming a picture than living in the moment. We turn a blind eye
to violence, addiction, poverty, and abuse. We give more money to
celebrities than we do to our school systems. We say "land of the
free," but really what we mean is "free...if you are an educated white
individual with enough money to provide for yourself without asking for
help." In America, we are more likely to vote for a presidential
candidate that is most attractive or more likely to be our friend than
for a candidate that supports our beliefs and goals. We watch reality
television more than we read current events, and we settle for quick
fixes over investing in tomorrow. Our welfare lines are longer than the
resources available, our prisons are overflowing, and retirement is
becoming a fantasy. Children have less responsibility, adults have less
accountability, and family is no longer a value with much importance.<br />
<br />
Why are people so desperate to live here? Why are people risking
their lives, their families, and the futures to come to our country?<br />
<br />
You may answer that it is because America is the greatest country in
the world, right? Isn't that what we are raised to believe? America is
the smartest, the strongest, and the most powerful; all other
countries look to America for protection, guidance, and aid. Or do
they?<br />
<br />
I love our country and I am thankful to have been raised here, but
now as an adult, my perception is a little different. I feel we have
mistaken our love of America with thinking it is the greatest country in
the world, and it is just not anymore.<br />
<br />
<u>American is not the greatest country in the world</u>. (please watch this video before going on and sorry in advance for some choice language in the video)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JM3nvATF-U8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<b>America is not the greatest country in the world...but it can be</b>. I
do not say all these things about America and how terrible we are to end
at that. I say them because I love our country and because I know we
can be the greatest country once again. <br />
<br />
"The first step in
solving any problem is recognizing there is one." Look once more to a
portion of the speech given in the video.<br />
<br />
"When you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world, I
don't know what you're talking about. We sure used to be. We stood up
for what was right. We fought for moral reasons. We passed laws--we
struck down laws--for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not poor
people. We sacrificed. We cared about our neighbors. We put our
money where our mouths were. We never beat our chests. We built great
big things. We made ungodly technological advances, explored the
universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world's greatest artists
and the world's greatest economy. We reached for the stars. We acted
like men. We aspired to intelligence; we didn't belittle it. It didn't
make us feel inferior. We didn't identify ourselves by who we voted
for in the last election. We didn't scare so easy. We were able to be
all these things and do all these things because we are informed by
great men--men who were revered. The first step in solving any problem
is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the
world anymore."<br />
<br />
This is the reason for policy. Productive policy is informed
citizens seeking to do what is right for the good of the people. This
is the policy that we seek as social workers. We seek policy that is
going to change our country. We seek policy that empowers, that gives
hope, that gives opportunity, that gives chances, and that gives new
life to our country and its people. Our profession is equipped with the
tools to bring interdisciplinary collaboration across the board to come
together for a purpose. Our profession is designed to help create the
America we crave, and policy is a large piece of the puzzle. America
was founded on family values, and I believe family policy must be at the
core of our work. Family is the building block of society, so policies
must be directed at strengthening and supporting our families in order
to revive our country. <i>America may not be the greatest country in the
world, but if any country can grow back stronger than before... I'd bet
on us. </i></div>
</div>
livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-84606391796970453722014-10-22T09:37:00.001-07:002014-10-22T09:37:53.462-07:00This SeasonMy mind has been everywhere in this season of my life. <br />
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I have a million ideas but not a lot of opportunity. I have always been doing something. I have always held some sort of leadership position and had my hand in plenty of projects, ministries, and groups....but this time in my life is different. And I can't say I'm fond of it. <br />
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I can feel my heart searching for what's next. I'm looking for the next big thing I can do; the next thing I can be a part of. I feel lost without people looking to me for instruction. I feel useless, honestly. I want to do something...but what? <br />
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When I stop and realize the opportunities I have, I realize God has me here for a reason. I may not be in leadership where I am comfortable, but I have an awesome opportunity to learn. I have time to dig into the Word, and oh boy, has God been convicting me of the power of scripture. I could write an entire post just on this alone (and I probably will). I have the Word of God before me and I will always need to learn from it. I will always need the reminders of truth, wisdom, and love within the pages of the Bible. And now is prime time for me in growing in my personal relationship to him. I have no doubt that God has me where I am for this reason. Since moving on from the college ministry, I'm in a new crowd of new people to get to know. I have such a passion for outreach and women's ministry, but I can't expect to jump head first into these ministries without first investing in them. It's time to be a participant. A servant in a whole new way. I have the opportunity to learn from incredible women of God through discipleship and training... I just have to diligently pray about who these women will be (and if you would join me in that prayer, that would be great). I am still involved in some projects, but not to the capacity I am used to. I'm in a season of life in which I am needing to grow. God knows this. I feel strongly that there is something ahead of me that God is preparing me for. I have no idea what that is, but it's there. And I'm so excited to find out what it is.<br />
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Now in the meantime, I must grow. I must hunger for God's Word. He says scripture should be our daily bread. By this, He means it is our meal...not a snack. Our time reading and praying and learning shouldn't be on the side to our life. It should be what fuels our life. It should be what sustains us...not what gives us a little boost at the end of the day. This is where I am. I'm learning to take God at His Word. I'm learning to grow. I'm learning how to be the learner. It's humbling and difficult for me to take a step back, but I know there is purpose in that. God isn't forsaking me by taking me out of leadership. He is preparing me and designing me to be His daughter. His beloved. His servant. I'm pretty excited about that. God doesn't love me because I'm a leader. God loves me. Period. That's it. I don't need to do anything except rest in that. I hope you can too. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-57679996977885702702014-06-25T10:43:00.000-07:002014-06-25T14:45:41.221-07:00If I Had a Little Sister...I'm about to turn 23. And I'm in graduate school until May. And then I'm basically an adult. With (hopefully) a job, a place of my own, bills of my own (just so excited about this), and endless possibilities of what I want to do and where I want to go. <br />
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If I want to move to Haiti, I can. If I want to work on behalf of the homeless, I will. If I want to lay around the house and do nothing....well considering those bills, I probably won't. But I could. <br />
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When did this all happen? How did I get to this point? Well it's been a whole lot of Jesus and lots of love, patience, forgiveness, understanding, and support from my family and friends. But lately I've been very reflective. If you know me personally, you know my life has taken some pretty drastic turns over the last year. I've made some mistakes and I've made some big decisions. I've leaned on Jesus and I've tried doing it my own way (hence the mistakes part). I've been able to look back and see some big lessons in my life and if I had a little sister, she would be getting an earful of <span style="background-color: white;">unwarranted </span>advice and would have a pretty great example of how to do things differently. <br />
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Side note: mom, please don't give me a little sister. I don't have time for that. <br />
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But let's say I did have a little sister....here's what I would tell her. <br />
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1. <u>School isn't everything</u>. School is important and can take you so far. My grades have allowed me to go through 5 years of college without any amount of debt, so you won't convince me school isn't important. But school isn't everything. It's far from it. I remember my freshman year of college...well parts of it. I remember sitting in my room for hours and hours and hours doing calculus homework. And you know where calculus got me...into a different major. What I've learned over the years is that <strong>the more I enjoy life and stay busy, the more I get done in school</strong>. When I realize I don't have hours and hours to do homework, I get it done a lot quicker. When I know I have something fun with my friends to do that night, my time spent doing schoolwork that day sucks a whole lot less. Enjoy school, but enjoy your life, too. You don't get these years back. <br />
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2.<u> Boys also aren't everything</u>. I know, big surprise. I was lucky enough to have a great relationship in high school with little drama and a whole lot of laughs. But I was the exception to that rule. And we didn't stay together after high school, so I then became the rule--not the exception. The chances that you will marry the guy you date when you're younger is slimmer than slim. It happens, but there's a great big world out there to explore. Go do that first. <strong>Go find yourself</strong>. Travel. Make friends. Live life. Grow. Change. Become the woman you're meant to be and then find a guy that loves the real you. The you that knows who you are and what you want. <em>The you that God designed you to be</em>. Don't waste your time in the drama, heartbreak, jealousy, and confusion of an immature relationship. Go on dates. Have fun. But grow up before getting serious. <br />
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3. <u>Despite my last advice, you will get your heart broke</u>.<strong> And that's okay. Don't fight it...let it hurt</strong>. I know that's opposite of everything our society tells us. "Move on. There's other fish in the sea. Be strong. Don't let people see you cry. Make him jealous." I call bull crap on all of that. Getting hurt sucks. A lot. So why do we try so hard to rush through this season? I know it sucks. Every girl who's ever lived knows it sucks. But it happens and it's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry for awhile. It's okay to watch sad movies and listen to songs about how guys are the worst. Let it happen. Feel it. And cling to God through it because He gets it too. If anyone knows heartbreak, its Him. Don't rush to the next guy just to feel like you're moving on. That's what happens when you rush heartbreak. It never heals. It just sits there in your soul and festers until the next guy breaks your heart because you weren't ready. It's okay to hurt. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. "For when I am weak, I am strong." In the story of David, God shows us that He will fight for us when we can't go on (1 Samuel 30). God shows us time and time again that pain is part of life and that's okay. One day at a time, it will hurt a little worse. You won't even know it's happening. One day you will look back and see the healing that happened that you didn't even know God was doing. But let God do that. Don't rush it. <br />
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4.<u> It's better to feel everything than nothing at all.</u> Don't put up too many walls because of heartbreak. One of my favorite prayers is that God would break my heart for what breaks His. And He sures does. Sometimes I can't walk around in public without tears coming to my eyes because of the sheer pain in the world. I feel everything. I'm trusting of people and that gets me hurt sometimes. I get attached and that also gets me hurt. But I've also had times where I guard myself from the world because the suffering is exhausting. And after experiencing both, <strong>I take the pain</strong>. I know people may say my heart is "too soft" like it's a bad thing, but I see it as a compliment. I would rather hurt every day than to miss all the joys and blessings that also come. When you put up walls, you don't just keep the bad out--you keep everything and everyone out. Beware of that. Jesus was a "man of many sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3). He chose pain, yet had so much joy and peace through the Father. Feel everything. Let it in. You will be truly blessed through it all. <br />
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5. <u>You deserve nothing</u>. You are not entitled to anything. Despite the fact that dad may call you a princess and the world says you can have anything you want, you deserve nothing. You do not deserve respect from anyone. You do not deserve a job, a place to live, food, money, or any of these other things that we so easily call "blessings." What about the people around the world that love God wholeheartedly but do not have these things? Do they not deserve it? No they don't, and neither do you. The Gospel shows us that we are sinners and are entitled to nothing. In fact, God willingly gave His Son despite the fact that we don't deserve it. <strong>You are a sinner. You are not better than anyone</strong>. If you want respect, give it first. If you want love, show it first. If you want a raise at your job, earn it. Make yourself a servant of others and work hard for everything. You are the daughter of a King, but by the world's standards, you are not a princess. <br />
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6.<u> Learn how to not only forgive others, but to forgive yourself too</u>. God sees you as blameless through Jesus Christ because He wants better for you than to live in guilt and regret. <strong>Who are you to put a label on yourself or someone else that God doesn't?</strong> Forgive people always. And when you're at fault, recognize your mistakes. Always ask for forgiveness from God, the people you affected, and from yourself. Then move on. God does and you should too. <br />
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7. <u>Find a mentor</u>. Or three. You're going to need people in your life to speak truth. Who tells you what's hard to hear. And it's always hard, but always good for you. Look at the women in your church. Look at coaches and teachers and family. Find people who you admire and that radiate Jesus, and ask them to disciple you. You need it. You may think you have everything figured out, but we are our own worst enemy. <strong>We easily deceive ourselves into thinking that whatever we are doing is right, and you need a woman who can shoot you straight.</strong> Never underestimate the power of the Bible, a loving mentor, honest conversation, and coffee. That combination will change your life time and time again.<br />
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8. <u>Don't save your outfits for a special occasion</u>. I'm infamous for throwing on jean shorts and a basic tee just because I don't want to pull out my new shirt or dress just yet...I'm saving it. <em>Holy cow, just wear it</em>. Every day should be celebration and when you think you look good, you feel good. Now with that in mind, be careful of what you wear. Belly shirts and mini skirts may be fashionable, but what image are you wanting to portray? <strong>People will treat you in whatever way you give them permission to.</strong> If you want respect, dress that way. If you want meaningless and empty attention from guys and to be hated by girls, go ahead and dress that way too. But clothes are important. And they are meant to be worn so go put on that new dress. The day you've been saving it for may never come, so enjoy it! (I say this with complete knowledge of one dress in my closet I've been saving...)<br />
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9. <u>Life isn't fair</u>. The quicker you accept this, the more joy you will find in life. Again, you don't deserve anything and neither does anyone else. Terrible, terrible things happen to good people, and sometimes the worst people get all the glory. <em>There's sin in the world so crap happens</em>. Don't try to reason it or make sense of it. Do what you can to change it, then rest in the promise that God will conquer this sin one day. Move on. He will handle it. <br />
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10. <u>Never underestimate the power of a smile</u>. For you and for others. Whether you feel like it or not, just smile to someone. Not in a flirty way. But show kindness through a smile. I've had countless situations where someone else's simple smile turned my own attitude around. Do that for others. <br />
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11.<u> Confidence, confidence, confidence</u>. I hate fake. But with confidence, follow the saying "fake it til you make it." It doesn't matter whether you are confident or not. <strong>All that matters is that people think you are confident. </strong>Hold your head up whenever you walk. Look people in the eyes. Smile. A little confidence goes a long way. <br />
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12. <u>Take your shoes off when you go into someone else's home</u>. And call people "Mrs." "Miss" and "Mr." Using "sir" and "ma'am" isn't outdated. Show respect to people at any cost. <br />
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13. <u>Cherish your friendships</u>. Make friends and lots of them. But find just two or three to really invest in. Make sure they build you up. Girls have this nasty habit of tearing each other down. Be happy for each other. Celebrate each other's successes (even if you are jealous). Cry with each other. Find friends who make you a better person. And sometimes realize that friends won't really last forever. God gives us people for "such a time as this." I've experience heartache because I've held on too tightly to friends who were never suppose to stick around. Accept the fact that sometimes you're BFF's were really just "best friends for awhile." You will find a handful of friends who will stick by you your whole life, and others will come and go. But cherish each friendship regardless. The friendship will only be as strong as you make it, and trust me, <strong>you will need friends</strong>. <br />
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14. <u>Enjoy today</u>. Don't wait for tomorrow. Don't rush from one thing to the next. Don't wait for the right moment. Be patient with life and take it as it comes. Tomorrow has enough to worry about (Matthew 6:34). If you have a big dream, go after it now. Don't say you'll do things when you're less busy...it won't happen. Don't stress about school or work or friends so much that you can't enjoy the life God has given you today. You will graduate. You will find a husband. You will get a job. <strong>Those things aren't what start your life. Your life is happening right now</strong>. And you won't get this moment back. Let that sink in for a second. I mean really think about it. If you realize that simple fact, you can't help but find some sort of joy today. You have to. <br />
<br />
15. <u>Find God. Every. Single. Day</u>. I'm still working on this, but let me tell you what, it's the most important. Read. Pray. Talk about Him with others. Do something for Him. Don't just act like a Christian. Don't just say the right things. Believe them. <strong>When I look back, the thing that made the single biggest difference in the highs and lows of my life was a daily walk with God</strong>. No joke. No matter what was going on in my life, if I pursued God every day, I could tell a difference. Even when you don't feel like it, do it anyway. Set aside a time every day and when you miss it, find another time that day. No excuses. He is all that matters. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-41434143710154251982014-04-18T06:14:00.000-07:002014-04-18T06:14:32.107-07:00A Good Advocate<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"<span style="font-size: 1.5em; font-weight: bold;"></span>My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, <a data-content=""<div class=\"resourcetext\"><span class=\"lang-en\"><a data-reference=\"&quot;Ro8.34&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Ro8.34?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Ro 8:34 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;1Ti2.5&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/1Ti2.5?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">1 Ti 2:5 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Heb7.25&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Heb7.25?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Heb 7:25 </span></a><br /></span> </div>"" data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/books/esv/1Jn2.1#" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. <span style="font-size: 80%; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span><a data-content=""<div class=\"resourcetext\"><span class=\"lang-en\"><a data-reference=\"&quot;1Jn4.10&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/1Jn4.10?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">1 Jn 4:10 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Ro3.25&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Ro3.25?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Ro 3:25 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;2Co5.18&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/2Co5.18?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">2 Co 5:18 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;2Co5.19&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/2Co5.19?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">2 Co 5:19 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Col1.20&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Col1.20?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Col 1:20 </span></a><br /></span> </div>"" data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/books/esv/1Jn2.1#" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>He i<span class="offset-marker" data-offset="5297257" id="marker266109"></span>s the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but <a data-content=""<div class=\"resourcetext\"><span class=\"lang-en\"><a data-reference=\"&quot;1Jn4.14&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/1Jn4.14?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">1 Jn 4:14 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Jn1.29&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Jn1.29?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Jn 1:29 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Jn4.42&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Jn4.42?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Jn 4:42 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Jn11.51&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Jn11.51?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Jn 11:51 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Jn11.52&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Jn11.52?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Jn 11:52 </span></a><a data-reference=\"&quot;Jn12.32&quot;\" data-datatype=\"&quot;bible+esv&quot;\" href=\"/reference/Jn12.32?resourceName=esv\" class=\"bibleref\"><span style=\"vertical-align:normal\">Jn 12:32 </span></a><br /></span> </div>"" data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/books/esv/1Jn2.1#" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>also for the sins of the whole world."</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>**1 John 2:1-3**</i></div>
<br />
A few weeks ago, I was able to attend Advocacy Day at the Missouri capitol in Jefferson City. As a social work student, I was given this opportunity and immediately jumped at the chance. While I love many areas of social work, the work of policy, legislation, and the government are not quite up to par when compared to other skills and knowledge. While there, I met some politicians, lobbyists, and representatives. Other than their outdated suites and fake smiles, one thing they all had in common were their role as advocates.<br />
<br />
Advocate = a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy<br />
<br />
As a future social worker, one of the many hats we wear is the advocate. We fight for the causes of the vulnerable. We give a voice to the meek. We empower the powerless. We shine a light on the forgotten and we justify the victims. As an advocate, we take the pain, suffering, and hurts of others and find a way to defend them.<br />
<br />
At Advocacy Day this year, there was a Disability Rights rally in the capitol while we were there. As I stood and watched people get so passionate over a cause, I couldn't help but think about Jesus as my own advocate. One after another, people stood up to defend each other and to fight for justice. In 1 John 2, Jesus Christ Himself is called our advocate.<br />
<br />
Here's what I envision when I think of Jesus as my advocate...<br />
***************************************************************** <br />
I picture Jesus standing at a podium before the Righteous Judge, His Father, and me standing guilty beside Jesus in a courtroom. God is sitting so high and powerful before us that I seem like a tiny fleck in His presence. A long list is before Jesus, and as soon as I realize what this list is, I get sick to my stomach. These are my sins. One by one, my sins are revealed out loud to the face of God. I cannot even look up into His eyes because of my shame. But for some reason, God's face never changes. As a Perfect Judge, I would expect some angry, wrath, or punishment to be brewing in God's mind...but I never see it as I cautiously look up from the floor. Because when Jesus finishes reading my list, the next words bring me to my knees. As I await my sentencing, Jesus takes my hand to steady my nerves. He simply says, "Father, the wages of sin are death, but it is finished."<br />
<br />
IT IS FINISHED.<br />
<br />
After my sins have been read, I can hardly stand to be in the same room as two so Holy. I cannot believe the wrongs I have allowed myself to do throughout my 22 years of life. I am so embarrassed to stand in front of God that I want to literally run away and hide in a hole. But then Jesus says, "it is finished." And as I look up to make sure it's real, God says the last thing I would expect Him to ever say at this time..."Well done, my good and faithful servant."<br />
***************************************************************** <br />
<br />
Are you like me and cannot even imagine this? After all I've done, He says "good job" and that's it? I don't get a lecture? I don't at least get a slap on the hand?<br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
It is finished.<br />
<br />
The "well done" is not because of anything single thing that I have accomplished or earned. There is nothing I can do to earn forgiveness or earn more of it. I can stand confidently before God because of my advocate. The one who pleads, begs, and fights for me and my cause...my salvation and my heart. Each and every day, Jesus stands next to the Father and advocates for me. Every time I sin, it's like Jesus is reminding the Judge, "forgive her Father, for I take her sin and it is finished. Let me have her sins. Let me have her baggage. Let me have her pain. I have already won her life through My death on the Cross."<br />
<br />
Today is Good Friday and the thought of Jesus as my advocate is burning in my mind and heart. Jesus fights for me every day, but no fight was greater than His defeat of sin and death. My list of sins is far too long, yet He takes my hand and says "it is finished." When I realize this like I do now, I cannot hold back the tears of thankfulness. When I stand before God, I will hear the words I have always longed for, but it will not be because of me. When God says "well done," He will be thinking of His Son but looking at me. He will be looking at me with His grace-filled eyes with the love of His Son in His heart.<br />
<br />
It is finished.<br />
<br />
<br /><img alt="" class="aligncenter" src="http://shereadstruth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/71.jpg" />livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-19634711417879011302014-03-25T17:40:00.000-07:002014-03-25T17:40:01.629-07:00PiecesMy life has been a whirlwind of epiphanies lately. God has been teaching me more than I can keep up with and it's so hard to keep up with all His lessons. I've had to admit sins in my life, forgive myself and others, and start to see myself how Jesus sees me. Tonight, this song really connected with me. I hope you find comfort and belonging in the lyrics like I did. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Pieces by Meredith Andrews<br />
**********************************************************<br />
It's a complex puzzle you call your life<br />
It's an uphill climb, it's a constant fight<br />
And it wears you down<br />
Feeling like you're alone, like you don't belong<br />
And you won't be loved if you don't measure up<br />
<i>And you wear your scars<br />
Like they're who you are</i><br />
<br />
Give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces<br />
All your questions, all your secrets<br />
You don't have to hide who you are<br />
<i>You belong to someone greater<br />
Than all your past mistakes and failures</i><br />
Rest in who He is<br />
He knows how to make your pieces fit<br />
<br />
He's the light on the road when you're lost in the dark<br />
And He won't run away if you show your heart<br />
Wants you to believe it<br />
You can taste that freedom<br />
<br />
When you give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces<br />
All your questions, all your secrets<br />
You don't have to hide who you are<br />
<i>You belong to someone greater<br />
Than all your past mistakes and failures</i><br />
Rest in who He is<br />
He knows how to make your pieces fit<br />
<br />
<b>You are completely known<br />
You are completely loved<br />
This is where you belong</b><br />
<br />
Give Him your wounds, your bruised and broken pieces<br />
All your questions, all your secrets<br />
You don't have to hide who you are<br />
<i>You belong to someone greater<br />
Than all your past mistakes and failures</i><br />
Rest in who He is<br />
He knows how to make your pieces fit
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-37357580032480481792014-03-10T23:01:00.002-07:002014-03-10T23:04:56.113-07:00An Honest Journal EntrySo I've been keeping a rather interesting journal lately (but more on that another day). Here is an honest, raw, and humble entry I wrote yesterday. I pray you find comfort, peace, or strength in it somehow.<br />
<br />
"For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).<br />
<br />
***********************************************************<br />
<br />
Dear God,<br />
<br />
Thank You for this season of my life. It's definitely not easy, but it has been an incredible growing opportunity that I know You are using. Thank You for helping me move on, but Father, I need some help truly forgiving myself. I need help finding my identity in You and You alone. I keep seeking approval from everyone around me. I want them to validate my choices and to support my decisions, but I'm letting their opinions have far too much weight. God, help me find the balance between keeping my reputation and testimony with those in my life and putting my future in their hands. Give me the courage to live my life with only Your opinion, plan, and will as my guide and standard. Give me the Holy Spirit to decipher Your words and will in my life.<br />
<br />
Thank You, Father, for never giving up on me when I confuse Your will. Thank You that my future is not limited to what I have been. I'm struggling to see how I will ever be known as someone different than "the girl who was engaged." God, I know You call me "lovely, daughter, forgiven, blessed, conqueror, beloved..." but it's difficult for me to hear them with the voice in my head calling me, "liar, guilty, embarrassment, naive, immature, shameful..." There's a disconnect between what I know and what I believe. Please help Your words plant themselves in my heart. I can't move on fully without Your help.<br />
<br />
Father, help those around me move on as well. To me, this seems like I'm requesting a miracle, but I'm going to ask it from You anyway. I know my actions have caused a lot of pain for many people, but please give them comfort, reassurance, and strength. Please forgive me for causing this to people. Please forgive me for the confusion my actions have caused for those around me, but please begin to reveal Your plan...even if in small ways. God, I know I cannot wait for everyone to approve of me, but I'm asking for Your protection as I navigate this journey with You. Give me patience to wait on Your will, but also allow Your will to be seen by those around me so they know it is of You. Let me be a light to those around me. Let them see the work You're doing and have been doing in my heart. Holy Spirit, speak and act through me, because my efforts will fail, but Yours will not. God, if you allow it, give me opportunities to share my story with other people. Allow my mistakes, struggles, and sins to make an impact for Your Kingdom. "When I am weak, you are strong." I want this to be a cry of my heart. I want a burden to make a change against the hurt in this world. If I can ease the aches of one girl through my broken engagement or past relationships, God, I will praise you for every tear I shed. Thank You for being my comfort and making my pain have purpose, but I pray for the young girls who do not know the love and security offered by You. Guide me to how I should help them. God, show yourself to them in big ways so they will realize that no relationship or guy can fill the holes in our hearts that was created for You.<br />
<br />
Father, continue to shape me into Your daughter. Whatever it takes, form me into the lovely woman I long to become. I know the adventure to this is long and full of battles to overcome, but God, I know it's already won with You. Thank You that I'm already lovely in Your eyes and that I am given the freedom to be what I already am. Help me believe this truth. Help me "live according to my calling." Help me live lovely, because You already say I am, and help me live a life of agape.<br />
<br />
Your sinful, but forgiven, daughter, <br />
Krystalivingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-43764734815021171432014-02-21T06:45:00.000-08:002014-02-21T06:45:23.478-08:00Light Always Casts ShadowsLately I feel like I have been learning the lesson of intentionality. <br />Life is all about choices, and unless you intentionally make choices, they will be made for you. It's one of those hard facts of life. Days will come whether I want them to or not, and how I spend it is up to me. But I don't want to be caught having life happen to me. I want to make life happen. I want to intentionally spend my time with Jesus every single day. I want to intentionally grow the relationships I have in my life. I want to intentionally serve the people God places in my place. I want to intentionally set time aside for exercise and sleep and small groups.<br />
<br />
Well, I haven't been getting what I want. Shocker, right? But that's no one's fault but mine, because I've been letting life happen to me.<br />
<br />
Sleep...I'll get time for that eventually. Lunch...maybe I'll get a break. Relationships...I'll text them back at some point in the next week. Exercise...that would be nice. Work...I just take things as they come and just continually add things to my to-do list without checking anything off.<br />
<br />
But I'm getting to the point--finally--that I see how this is my own doing. That I see that all of this is my choice. It's not my busyness or my crazy schedule. It's how I am choosing to spend my time. It's my choices and priorities. <br />
<br />
Which leads me to the second lesson I've been learning...walking in the light.<br />
<br />
1 John 1:5-10<br />
<i>"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote16" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. <span style="font-size: 80%; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span><a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote17" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote18" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>do not practice the truth. <span style="font-size: 80%; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span>But <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote19" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>if we walk in the light, <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote20" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote21" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. <span style="font-size: 80%; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span><a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote22" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote23" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>the truth is not in us. <span style="font-size: 80%; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span><a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote24" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote26" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.<span style="font-size: 80%; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"> </span>If we say we have not sinned, <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote27" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>we make him a liar, and <a data-resourcename=""esv"" href="http://biblia.com/bible/esv/1%20John%201.1-10#footnote28" rel="popup"><span style="font-size: 80%; line-height: 0; vertical-align: super;"></span></a>his word is not in us." </i><br />
<br />
<i> </i>I will never be able to take control of my life. Ever. Things happen that I don't expect. I wake up having one schedule and throughout the day it quickly goes out the window in order to accommodate a new list of tasks. No matter how much life surprises me, it never surprises God. Nothing is thrown at me that wasn't first sifted through His hands. Although I cannot (and should never) be in control, I can let Him have control and see the wonderful fruits of His work. But He won't do that unless I ask. I believe wholeheartedly that God gives us the choice. Life is full of intentional choices, right? I can choose His way or I can choose mine. My way is chaos and life happening to me, but His way is in the light. And walking in the light is beautiful and meaningful and full of life...and terrifying. <br />
<br />
Think of a gorgeous day in the spring (it's difficult to imagine what that feels like with all this winter weather but try anyway). The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And you are in the park. Now look around...do you see all the shadows? The sun casts shadows everywhere. That's what walking in the light of Jesus does too. Walking in the light casts the shadows of sin in our life. It clearly shows us what is standing between us and God, just like shadows show how the large tree is blocking the sun from the ground behind it. And I cannot eliminate those shadows from sin until I recognize it. I can turn my back for awhile and act like everything is fine, but the shadows are still there. The sin is there and it is blocking the light from parts of my life. It is putting Jesus in a box and keeping Him from a full relationship with me. And that's my choice. <br />
<br />
Do you see how intentionality and walking in the light go hand-and-hand for me? "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves." My sin is there. But until I address the shadows, life will continue to happen to me. I have to give it to Jesus and allow Him to take control so that I can have a life of purpose. So that I can make life happen for Him instead of allowing life to happen to me.<br />
<br />
Walking in the light is scary. Light always casts the shadows of sin. Being intentional is scary. You have to own up to things and take responsibility for your own life and mistakes. But going through life without meaning scares me way more. I want to hear when I die, "Well done, my good and faithful daughter. You lived a life that was lovely to Me." livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-1009736167134635492014-02-12T14:42:00.001-08:002014-02-12T14:49:17.068-08:00A Letter to My Girls<i>This is a letter I wrote to my middle school girls because I can't be with them at church tonight. For some reason, I thought I should share. </i><br />
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
My sweet girls,<br />
<br />
I'm sorry I can't be with you tonight, but I bet I know what you each are thinking about...Valentine's Day. I remember all the same emotions and thoughts you are having. I have had them all. Excitement, anxiety, nervousness, jealously, sadness, hope, and hopelessness. Maybe you have a boyfriend, maybe a crush, or maybe you think Valentine's Day is stupid and you stay away from love. All of this is okay! There have been years I had a Valentine's date and years I haven't had a Valentine at all. Some years were awesome and some really sucked. I've had my heart broke and I've been in love. As you all know too well, life is unpredictable in the best and worst ways. One day you love life...the next day is so hard that you don't know how you will make it through the day. Can I tell you something? Valentine's Day is the same way. February 14th will either be incredible or it will suck. Rarely is there an in between. It's hard when your crush doesn't like you back. It sucks when your Valentine lets you down. And watching other couples is sometimes gross and annoying. But then February 15th comes and the hype is over just like that. The thing you were either so excited about or absolutely dreading is over in one short day.<br />
<br />
So why do we get so worked up over this one day? The answer is simple. Love. Valentine's Day brings the hope of love. And love is a dangerously powerful emotion. We all want it. We all crave it. We all need it. Love makes us happy. Gives us hope. Makes us feel special and important. Makes us feel like someone cares. Makes us girls feel beautiful. Love is an entirely unique emotion. There's a reason there isn't a day devoted to excitement or sadness. Love encompasses almost every other emotion somehow or some way. Love is what everyone thinks about, dreams about, works for, and fights for.<br />
<br />
But love should never be confined to one day. Love should be a lifestyle. It was Jesus' entire life...and death. God is love. Out of love He made you before you were born. Because of love He watches over you and knows your heart perfectly. He knows every hair on your head and thought in your brain. Because He loves you, He wants a relationship with you. And not just any relationship. He wants a relationship so much better than any relationship you can imagine or dream up. Because He loves you, He made sure you had a choice to have that relationship. You girls hear me say it all the time, but life is all about choices. And it's up to you. But because He loves you, God's son Jesus left a perfect, wonderful Heaven to live a life with us in an imperfect world. Because He loves you, He suffered every day to teach us and we can now read all about it in the Bible. Because He loves you, He realized our sin was keeping us from that relationship with God and wanted to do something about it. He loves you so much He knew He had to do something to prove His love. Because He loves you, He willingly died for sins He never committed. He was perfect, but He sacrificed His life in your place. The wages of sins is death. We are sinful, but He didn't want us to have the death we deserved. Because He loves you, He died in your place so that you can have a choice. Before Jesus, sin kept us from God. We didn't have a choice. But because Jesus took our death, we can choose. But the crazy thing is that Jesus died knowing that choice could you mean you don't choose Him. He loves you so much that it didn't matter what you would do one day with your choice. He didn't wait for us to promise to choose Him. He didn't wait for us to get our acts together and be perfect. The only thing that mattered to Him was that you had the choice. He loves you. Like crazy. And He's waiting. He always has been and always will be. But if you haven't made the choice for yourself, you're missing out on so much. Don't wait.<br />
<br />
You see, we confine love to one day...Valentine's. But every day for God is about love. He gave us the Bible so that we can read His love notes every single day, anytime we wanted or needed. He wants you to talk to Him every day, and unlike boys, He never gets tired of listening to us. He shows us He loves us all the time in friends, sunsets, and food to eat. These are called blessings and they will last far longer than any teddy bear, chocolate, or flowers.<br />
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But it's your choice. I can't make it for you. I would have already if I could because I know how great this love is. God loves you and wants you. So whether you end up having a great Valentine's Day or not, remember there is someone who is willingly to shower you with love, comfort, strength, hope, and attention every single day of the year. Crushes are fun! Getting valentines are fun! Enjoy it! But on February 15th when all the excitement is over, remember the one who designed love in the first place. Remember the one who proved His love with more than words or candy. He proved it by taking your place in death and offering you the choice of eternal life with God. He proves His love and never lets you down. He doesn't promise perfect days, but He promises that His love will never leave or go away.<br />
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I really do hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever. But like choosing Jesus, having a good Valentine's Day is your choice. Make it a great day. Have fun. Smile. Laugh. Don't put all your hope and dreams on what you get. Remember, love is a lifestyle. Go do something nice for someone else instead of waiting on a guy to do something for you. Making someone else's day always makes you feel better. Love isn't a just a feeling. Love is action. So go give love to people around you. But above all else I hope you see and accept the love waiting on you from Jesus. He is a Valentine that will never disappoint.<br />
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I'm always here for you girls, <br />
Krysta<br />
<br />livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-50819118624340811982014-02-06T20:18:00.002-08:002014-02-06T20:22:59.699-08:00Miracles for ManyDo you sometimes read the Bible and wonder, <i>"God, where is my miracle?" </i><br />
You've heard the stories. Jesus heals a leper. Jesus feeds 5,000. Jesus raises the dead. Jesus calms the storm. Jesus calls out demons.<br />
And here I am just trying to figure out how I'm going to survive my last semester of undergraduate studies. My life seems to fail in comparison to lives of many people Jesus has touched. Can you imagine how the life of the man, Lazarus, who was dead and then Jesus brought back to life changed <span style="font-size: x-small;">(John 11:38-43)</span>? Can you imagine how the disciples felt to be in the presence of a man who literally calmed every furious wind and engulfing waves in the sea <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Luke 8:22-35)</span>?<br />
I read these stories in the comfort of my bedroom while drinking tea. An exciting day for me can mean getting Taco Bell for dinner. Not quite as miraculous.<br />
Or maybe I'm missing it. Maybe I'm blind to the great works of God every single day. Maybe I have a very skewed definition of miracles to begin with.<br />
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A <i>miracle </i>according to Merriam-Webster is "an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment." <br />
Something out of the ordinary. Something that either can or cannot be explained. A plot twist and game-changer that was not expected by our own plan.<br />
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Okay. So I've had one or two of those. I have joked that my life encompasses every single thing that I said would never happen, but really the joke is on me. I grew up knowing my future career. My future college. My future husband. My future home. I had my life planned out perfectly, and here I am with a completely different vision. <br />
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I always said I would never NOT coach....I don't have time for coaching anymore.<br />
I always said I would never work with middle schoolers and teenagers...many of my biggest dreams involve that age group. <br />
I always thought I would never leave Springfield...I now have no idea where I will end up and that's totally okay. <br />
I always thought my high school sweetheart would be my husband...here I am out of an entirely different engagement and single again and it's all good. <br />
I always thought I didn't want kids...I dream of adoption every single day. <br />
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Do you get my point? My life is nothing short of the miraculous intervention of Jesus and I wouldn't change it for the world. The life I envisioned is nothing like what I have, and yet I am confident that Jesus is giving me a life much more full than any I could imagine. <br />
He saves me from my own foolish plans every day. That's a miracle. <br />
And He saved me from sin years ago and continues to do that to this day. That's a miracle. This miracle alone should be enough for us all. <br />
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So, then what's the difference? What's the difference between me and the people in the Bible? Why do their miracles seem so much bigger? It's what they do with it.<br />
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God gives us miracles in order to tell others about it...to glorify Himself. God gives us these game-changer miracles in order to change the world. <br />
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Look at the story in Mark 5: 1-20. Jesus heals another man with a demon and this man was so amazed and thankful that he asks to be a disciple of Jesus. But Jesus' response in verse 19 is, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." Jesus knew this man would have the biggest impact on the the world by telling his miracle to everyone around him. The other disciples didn't have a story to tell like this man's. He had a unique miracle to share, and I bet you do too.<br />
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So the difference is what you do with your life because ultimately your life is a miracle in itself. You are here. You are alive. Have you ever thought about all it takes to keep you alive? Seriously, stop and think about every single thing your body goes through every second to maintain life. Who did that? No one could have orchestrated that but God. It's too complex and unexplainable. You are a miracle. And I bet you have those miracle moments. The difference is these people let the miracles change them and now people get to read about it for the rest of time. I guess that's why I keep this blog. It is accounts of my own miracles. Of what I'm learning. Of what Jesus is doing in my life.<br />
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What's your miracle? I'd love to hear it and Jesus would love you to share it. It is yours for a reason. I bet it came with some pain and heartache and hard work, but it's yours. So practice sharing it. Share it with me at krysta.baker@yahoo.com. I can't wait to praise Jesus with you for His work. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-4008225965496399342014-01-05T21:04:00.000-08:002014-01-05T21:25:59.113-08:00 A Fresh Start<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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2014. <br />
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New year. New things. New beginnings. New chances. New opportunities. New goals. New you.<br />
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Right?<br />
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Isn't that what the new year promises?<br />
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So we spend all our thoughts and energy on resolutions and possibilities. We spend our money on new clothes and gym memberships. We pray for change. We hope for something that will make this year better, bigger, and more fulfilling than the last. <br />
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But then we fail to meet our goals. The big job doesn't come. The relationship ends. The thing you prayed for doesn't happen. And suddenly, this year starts to look a lot like the last one. Maybe even worse. <br />
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When will we learn? A new year is nothing more than another day. And every day is new. Every day offers opportunity for change. A chance to make things right. Yet we put so much of our hope in this year. We miss the point. We miss the truth.<br />
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The last few months, I've been following a devotional called <a href="http://shereadstruth.com/" target="_blank">She Reads Truth</a>. I am so inspired by the new study which is about to begin, A Fresh Start, and I challenge you to do it with me. <br />
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<i>A Fresh Start</i>. Isn't that what we are all looking for in a new year? But we already have it.<br />
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In Christ, we are made new.<br />
<i>"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." </i>2 Corinthians 5:17<br />
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And if we desire it, we are continually made new. <br />
<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248"><i>"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."</i> Romans 12:2</span><br />
<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248"><br /></span>
<span class="text Rom-12-2" id="en-NIV-28248">We have promises. </span><br />
<span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-ESV-19647"><i>"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." </i>Jeremiah 29:11</span><br />
<span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-ESV-19647"><br /></span>
<span class="text Jer-29-11" id="en-ESV-19647">And with God, we cannot fail. God knows I'm a sinner, and with that comes the real possibility I'm going to mess up. A lot. But God is never confined to my screw ups and poor choices. His plan and purpose for my life isn't halted because of my misdirection. <i>He works all things for good </i>(Romans 8:28). Now while our definitions of what is good may differ for the time being, it says ALL things. That doesn't just mean when I am perfectly following Him. It also means when I say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and act the wrong way. God is fully capable of righting my wrongs because He always see a bigger picture. The good He makes is His good. This may mean pain, suffering, humility, confusion, obedience, uncertainty, and repentance, but we are promised so much more in the end. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-8-18"><i>"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."</i> Romans 8:18</span><br />
<span class="text Rom-8-18">Whatever we face here--good or bad--isn't even in the same ballpark as what we will see one day with Jesus Christ. We keep looking for the next big thing in 2014 which will change everything, but the fact is that we serve the ultimate Game-Changer Himself. So I can rest assured knowing that I cannot fail. My resolutions may fail by the end of the month, but God doesn't quit. I can cut my hair, but God doesn't measure my worth by my appearance. I can quit my job, drop out of school, and move to China, and God will be there working it for His glory. </span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-8-18">Isn't that the most freeing and liberating news you've ever heard? You cannot fail in 2014. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-8-18"><br /></span>
<span class="text Rom-8-18">So I'll leave you with this. It's from the devotion that is beginning. I hope you get as excited about it as I am. And I hope instead of putting your hope in the promise of a new year, you find your promises in Jesus, because He gives us all reason to be excited for what's to come. </span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-8-18"><br /></span>livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-71207809418260094772013-10-30T20:29:00.000-07:002013-10-30T20:29:18.809-07:00When You Need a Map<b>Lost.</b><br />
Ever felt lost? Yeah, I just heard you sigh with the realization that you have felt like that before. That you feel like that right now.<br />
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Webster defines lost in an interesting way... <br />
<i>not knowing where you are</i><br />
<i>no longer held, owned, or possessed.</i><br />
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When you're lost, you lose focus. You aren't concerned with where you are going because you have no idea where you are. You can't determine a path without knowing your current location. So being lost is dangerous. <br />
You're stuck. You're confused. You're scared. You're vulnerable. <br />
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My current state of lost has been debilitating. Because I've been so caught up in my own situation, I've been entirely selfish. So it's time I find where I am. It's time to rediscover who I am. My feeling of lost has been caused by both intentional and unintentional attack against who I thought I was. These attacks have left me hurt, stuck, and entirely vulnerable to Satan. The attacks I feel aren't necessarily from the people. These attacks are from Satan and I have allowed them to penetrate my thoughts and heart. This has caused me to question who I am, what I believe, who I thought I am, and who I am becoming. Though I'm not, I've felt alone. I no longer feel held, owned, or possesed. I no longer know where I am. I've been the textbook definition of lost. But this is not acceptable any longer. But where to go from here? I can't figure out where to go without first figuring out where I am. Without first figuring out who I am. <br />
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<b>I am not a mistake. </b>|Ephesians 2:10| </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, <br />which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I don't always know what's going on. I don't always see my purpose or my place. Sometimes I wonder, "Why am I here, God? Why do you have me here right now?" And honestly, I don't always know. Sometimes my purpose is clear, but when things get rocky, I lose sight of that. But I can rest assured that I am not a mistake. I am here for a reason. There is something to be done. In all circumstances, I must glorify Christ. That is my purpose above all else. And God specifically made me with gifts, talents, and abilities to do that very thing. He knit me together perfectly. He made no mistake. I am intentionally made. Like a artist loves his painting, God finds me without blemish and His prized creation. </span></div>
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<b>I am not forgotten</b>. |Philippians 1:6|</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text Phil-1-6" id="en-ESV-29351">And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you<br /> will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">You know the feeling well, I am sure of this. The feeling of being forgotten. The feeling of being alone. But God never abandons His children. If you have given your heart to Him, He will NEVER leave your side. If you are alive, He is still working in your life. And even though I forgot this truth, He did not give up. This thought brings me to tears every single time. He is not finished with me yet. And He's not finished with you either. It doesn't matter what you've done or what you believe of yourself, He is a relentless love, continually in pursuit of your heart. You are never ever forgotten by God. </span></div>
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<b>I am not alone</b>. |John 15:15| </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text John-15-15" id="en-ESV-26703"><span class="woj">No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; <br />but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text John-15-15" id="en-ESV-26703"><span class="woj"><span style="font-size: small;">God is so big, He is King of all. Yet He is so personal, He is my friend. I can't even imagine this. It is something I have yet to comprehend completely because those two qualities don't naturally go together. He knows all, rules all, and controls all, yet He so passionately loves me, that He wants for me to call Him friend. He wants me to know His heart completely. He wants to talk with me. He wants to give me wisdom. He just wants time with me. He is my friend, and I am never alone. </span> </span></span></span></div>
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<b>I am weak, but that's okay</b>. |2 Corinthians 12:9-10|</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text 2Cor-12-9" id="en-ESV-29015">But he said to me, <span class="woj">“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”</span> Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.</span> <span class="text 2Cor-12-10" id="en-ESV-29016">For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">These verses have got me through some of the hardest times in my life. God so uniquely reminds us that it is okay to not always be okay. In Isaiah 53:3, we are reminded that Jesus is a "man of sorrows, much acquainted with grief." He lived with pain and suffering every single day. He gets it. He knows how hard things can get, and because He overcame all sin and death, we can trust Him to do the same for us (John 16:33). Through the cross, Jesus proved Himself entirely capable to fight for us. When we are at our weakest, God is able to shine through us the brightest because it is so clearly seen that it is by His strength alone that we push on. When I am beaten down, God shows up in a big way. He is my strength and refuge (Psalm 46:1), and by His strength alone will I endure. I don't have to rely on myself anymore. It's okay to not always have it all together. He does. </span> </span></div>
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<b>I am valuable</b>. |1 Corinthians 6:20|</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text 1Cor-6-20" id="en-ESV-28471">for you were bought with a price.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In the eyes of God, I am worthy. He sent His one and only Son--His most prized possession--for me. He paid the ultimate cost, which is death, for me. God gave Jesus for me. Jesus suffered for me. And now He waits for me. </span>Why on earth would I continue to seek my value in the words of anyone else but God? When I compare what God did for me to what others do for me, I realize to whom I belong. I am paid for and my debt of sin is clear. I mean everything to God. He loves when I don't and He forgives when I don't, because to Him, the extra work is worth it...because I am worth it. And you are too. </div>
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<b>I am protected. </b>|Romans 8:31-39|<b> </b></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text Rom-8-31">What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?</span> <span class="text Rom-8-32" id="en-ESV-28133"><sup class="versenum"></sup>He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? </span><span class="text Rom-8-33" id="en-ESV-28134">Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who </span><span class="text Rom-8-34" id="en-ESV-28135">is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. </span><span class="text Rom-8-35" id="en-ESV-28136">Who
shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or
distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? </span><span class="text Rom-8-36" id="en-ESV-28137">As it is written,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text Rom-8-36">“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Rom-8-36">we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text Rom-8-37" id="en-ESV-28138"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.</span> <span class="text Rom-8-38" id="en-ESV-28139">For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,</span><span class="text Rom-8-39" id="en-ESV-28140"><sup class="versenum"></sup> nor
height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.</span></span></div>
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<b> </b>These verses speak for themselves. When I feel attacked, I must remember that God will fight for me. I must remember that no matter what I endure or what hurts me, nothing is comparable to the joy I will find in heaven with God (Romans 8:18). In God, I don't just have to make it. I am a conqueror in Christ. Because He will eventually triumph over all evil, I will too. Nothing I do and nothing anyone else does will separate me from God. So it doesn't matter what people say about me, all that matters is what God says about me, because their words don't change His opinion of me. To Him, I am lovely and I am His. He will protect my heart if I just let Him have it. </div>
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<b>I am forgiven</b>. |Isaiah 53:5|</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="text Isa-53-5" id="en-ESV-18717">But he was pierced for our transgressions;</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-53-5">he was crushed for our iniquities;</span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-53-5">upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Isa-53-5">and with his wounds we are healed.</span></span> </span></div>
When people point out my flaws, my weaknesses, my insufficiency, or even make up ones to get me down, I must remember I am forgiven. When I forget what Jesus did for me on the cross--how He took the beatings, mocking, hatred, pain, and unimaginable death--I am saying it wasn't good enough. I am saying to God, <i>"it's cool and all that you sent your one and only Son for me, but that wasn't enough. His death was for nothing because it just doesn't cover this sin, God. I'm glad He did it, but You are not enough for me.</i>" Do you honestly believe that today? Do I believe that? The last month of my life shows that I have, but I refuse to believe it anymore. When Christ died on the cross, He died for everyone and every sin. Mine included. When I forget what Christ did for me, I forget who I am. I forget who I am, because I forget who He is. And He is mighty, powerful, just, and King. He calls Himself the great I AM. The ruler of all. So high and grand that He rules the universe, yet so intimate that He knows my heart.<br />
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When I question who I am, I must remember who I AM is. The contents of this blog would never be enough to explain the great I AM, let alone what He thinks of me. But this is my reminder. This is my map. And I hope you find one too. My word is "lovely." When I meet Jesus one day, I so desperately want Him to call me "lovely." Maybe in another post, I'll explain exactly what lovely means to me, but what about you? What do you want Jesus to call you? What does Jesus call you now? God no longer looks at my faults, my sins, or my baggage. He is fully aware I have it and He is constantly refining me to be more like His Son, but when God looks at me, I am confident that despite how I feel that day, I am lovely to Him. This word is my reminder. I hope you find your own.<br />
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I am not lost; I am lovely. <br />
livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-3358354228878348702013-08-23T10:32:00.002-07:002013-08-23T10:32:22.624-07:00Lots of New ThingsSo, I'm not even sure where to begin...<br />
I started school. My last semester of classes for undergraduate work. <br />Vertical Access is back!<br />My job has changed quite a bit. <br />Oh, and I'm engaged. <br />
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Yep, I'm back in the saddle again. School has begun and there's nothing I can do to stop it now. I'm not even currently sure what to think about my new semester. It's looks deceivingly easy compared to my past semesters. Now don't misunderstand. It will still be tough, mostly because of my other obligations. But it doesn't look impossible. I do, however, always always always get overwhelmed at the beginning. I look at my syllabus and freak out. I hate seeing every single assignment layed out before me. I'm an overdoer, so naturally I want to do it all at once. I would live so much better if only my teachers would give me one thing at a time to work on. But they don't do that. So I will learn to cope yet again. <br />
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Vertical Access is finally back! I'm so incredibly excited for this next year. For you who don't know, Vertical Access is the college ministry of High Street Baptist Church. We reach out to college students--mainly focusing on Missouri State, Drury, Evangel, Baptist Bible College, and OTC. We meet Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, as well as special events and get-togethers. We have totally revamped Vertical Access this past year and we are praying that we followed Jesus in these efforts. Our goal as a community is to "magnify the glory of God by providing an environment for Christians to thrive spiritually and engaging people who aren't Christians with the gospel." I truly believe we are closer to this purpose than ever before. If you want to learn more about Vertical Access or High Street, check us out or just ask me! You can always comment below! <br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/va.hsbc">https://www.facebook.com/va.hsbc</a><br /><span style="color: #00802a;"><a href="http://www.highstreet.org/">www.<b>highstreet</b>.org</a></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">So I'm still at South Haven, but my role is constantly changing here. Originally, I wasn't going to work here this semester, but I love it too much and my boss is too great. But because of my schedule and restrictions due to VA, I am playing a much different part. My main focus until next February is Upward Basketball and Cheerleading. I will be heading this up single-handedly but I'm ready. This is something I know I can manage and it will be good. Last semester it was a tad chaotic because three people were trying to make it work, and then add in some volunteers and no one had a clue who did what when. Now, it is my task to get things done, organize, and deligate tasks so that we know exactly who is doing what when. <br />The hardest part about this semester is backing off of our neighborhood program because of Vertical Access. I know where my heart lies and where I am called, but I want so badly to be Super Girl and do it all. I have so many relationships with this middle schoolers and I hate that now I have to leave early every week in order to be at VA and preform my president duties. I know it's the right thing, but leaving will always be tough. Which again reminds me that I will leave this job in February and have to move on. I know it's what has to happen, but it won't be an easy time at all. </span><br />
<br />
And finally, the most shocking news of all... I'm engaged! I'm engaged to the most incredible, Godly man I can imagine. I'm sure you hear this from many girls, but Taylor is the guy that I convinced myself I would never find. I saw relationships like my pastor's and his wife's marriage and saw it's beauty and value, but thought it was only for a select few... and that didn't include me. Luckly, Jesus saw fit to give me a man that draws me closer to Christ before himself. That challenges me in the best ways. And to quote Paul, often becomes the "thorn in my side" when I begin to fall away. He leads me spiritually and protects me physically and emotionally. And now he is going to be mine til death do we part! <br />
<br />
Taylor and I actually have a wedding website where you can view pictures, read our stories, and find out all sorts of things! It's actually pretty fun to look at. I'm constantly changing and updating it because it's not totally done, but please check it out! <br /><a href="http://www.theknot.com/wedding/Taylor-and-Krysta">www.theknot.com/wedding/Taylor-and-Krysta</a><br />
livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-14458795213095598782013-08-07T12:20:00.000-07:002013-08-07T12:24:40.403-07:00Time Really Isn't On Your Side. It's His. "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." -William Penn<br />
<br />
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." -Yale Richmond <br />
<br />
"Those who make the worst of their time most complain about its shortness." – La Bruyere <br />
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"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." -Ephesians 5:15-17<br />
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<br />
Time. We all want more. We all waste it. <br />
I know, because I have been lately. <br />
<br />
And I worry about it so much! It's not like it will slow down or speed up just from my thoughts.<br />
"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" (Matthew 6:27)<br />
<br />
Lately I've been caught in the worry of my last year of college. I worry that I may push myself too far. Spread myself too thin. Try to do too much. <br />
<br />
But then again....<br />
<br />
I think about all the time I waste. I think about the moments I'm laying around on my phone or watching a silly TV show. I think about the moments I'm staying up late doing basically nothing, then complain about how tired I am. I complain about my busyiness, all the while spending my time idiotically. <br />
<br />
God knows our limits. He gave us 24-hour days for a reason. He knows we are only capable of so much each hour, each day, each week. He knows my capabilites and calls me to live within them. We can only do so much. But then He warns us about how we should spend our time. <br />
<br />
You won't find anywhere in the Bible which tells me to lay around and spend my time selfishly. Yes, we are to take time for God above all else, which can mean a relaxing afternoon spent reading His word--but that isn't selfish. Selfish is my zombie hours in which I spend watching "Say Yes to the Dress," without thinking an intellegent thought or doing a productive activity. These things do not relax me. They are a false sense of comfort in which I can so easily trust in. <br />
<br />
Jesus says, "Come to me and I will give you true rest" (Matt 11:28-30). He knows I am most filled in Him. He knows only He can comfort my weary bones and restore my tired heart. Jesus understands the burden of our busy lives. He never intended for us to get bogged down in the crap we put ourselves through, but He offers restoration anyway. <br />
<br />
I am so challenged to use my time for wisely. <br />
<br />
God calls me to spend my time loving others. Not myself. <br />
God calls me to spend my time serving others. Not serve my selfish desires. <br />
God calls me to spend my time telling the world about Him. Not stay in my comfortable bubble. <br />
God calls me to spend my time becoming more like Jesus every single day. Not to worship myself.<br />
God calls me to spend my time glorifying His Name. Not to make much of myself.<br />
<br />
Now when I get worried about time, I have to take a step back and look about how I'm spending it. More than likely, it's not more time I need...I need more Jesus. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-37733810550767082432013-06-25T11:04:00.002-07:002013-06-25T11:04:28.357-07:00My Life Could Be a WasteIs my life a waste?<br /><br />What am I doing?<br />
<br />
Where do I fit in?<br />
<br />
Could it all be for nothing?<br />
<br />
What is my pupose?<br />
<br />
Have you ever had these thoughts? Have you ever sat down and really thought about where you are putting your time and energy? Where your heart lies? <br />
<br />
Have you ever thought about what people would say at your funeral? What you will be remembered for? <br />
<br />
Well, I have.<br />
<br />
And I've come to one realization. That if <u>one truth</u> in my life is wrong, my life is a joke. My life is wasted. And that's exactly how I want it. <br />
<br />
I want my life so centered on the life of Christ, that if Jesus turns out to be just a myth, my life was wasted. Now with this thought, I have a long ways to go. I still have a lot I need to surrender to Jesus and a lot more I can do for Him while I'm here, but I'm willing to accept that challenge. I would rather have a life some would say is wasted on Jesus, than a life which no one will remember 10 years after I'm gone. Here's how I see it...<br />
<br />
My grandparents are two of my best friends. But the amount I know about my grandparent's life is not as much as I would like. And the amount I know about my great-grandparents is even less. I don't know if they were champion athletes, great friends, amazing cooks, beautiful dancers, brillant writers, or just quiet folk who stayed at home. I have no idea. Things like that fade away quickly. People forget. People move on with their own lives and forget to talk about you. <br />
<br />
"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God." (Isaiah 40:28)<br />
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Everlasting God. <br />
<br />
We are temporary. We are here for just awhile and then gone (James 4:14). And in the midst of the great big world and the 7 billion other people on this planet, the chances of anyone remembering me past my grandkids is slim. That's sort of depressing, isn't it? You can see how it can be so easy for our lives to feel like a waste? But don't forget...<br />
<br />
Everlasting God. <br /><br />So how do we make our lives not be a waste? We live for Him and Him alone. And though no one will remember my name, I can leave a legacy in my family that was started well before me. I can leave a legacy of loving and serving the Lord. Decades down the road in my lineage, my family could still be believing in Jesus because of the love my grandkids had, the love my children had, the love I had, the love my parents had, the love my grandparents had, great-grandparents and so on. That thought alone makes me want to cry and thank God for the opportunity. But then add to it the people we can love outside our family. The people we can tell about Jesus and show His love in a tangible way to. Those people could start a legacy in their families as well, all because you lived a life for God!<br />
<br />
So my life is a waste, uh? The majority of my time and energy goes into serving. I spend my time loving kids, creating devotions, hanging out with "the least of these," leading or participating in Bible studies, being in leadership in ministries, and studying to create a life which helps others. Now make no mistake, I don't say those things to boast in my abilities. In my mind, I'm actually missing the mark and I could do so much more. I say these things to show you and remind myself that if this "Jesus thing" is fake, if it turns out to be a big joke, my life is a total and complete waste of time. Everything I do and put my time into would be for nothing. I'm banking my entire life and the future of my family to come that God came down in the form of man, died on a cross for my sins, and is now very much alive. <br />
<br />
When I die, no one will remember me. But I hope everyone who thinks of me, immediately thinks of Christ. And if that happens, my life is not a waste. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-48177279835715210672013-06-23T13:43:00.001-07:002013-06-23T13:50:11.133-07:00Jesus, A Whore, and MeBesides the Gospel of the cross, if I had to pick one single story from the Bible to only read the rest of my life, this story would be a top contender. This is a story of love, of grace, of mercy, of truth, of forgiveness, of sacrifice, of hypocrisy, of sin, of life, of me, and most importantly, of Jesus.<br />
<br />
The Adulteress Woman -- or for us today, the whore.<br />
<br />
So there's a crowd. A big crowd of people and among them is Jesus. That's no coincidence He's there. <br />
Because a group of scribes and Pharisee (aka. the uber religious folks of the time who love their rules and self-righteousness) enter the scene. Dragging a woman. Dragging a whore.<br />
<br />
So this sounds harsh, right? To call her a whore. But she is an adulterer. Is that a better term? She slept with a married man. She's a cheater. A home wrecker. The other woman. Who reading this thinks cheating is okay? Who wants to be cheated on? Exactly. This isn't exactly the town's saint. She isn't their best friend right now.<br />
<br />
Side note here: How would you feel being this woman? We all have sin. We all
have secrets. This woman was caught in hers. And not only was she
caught, she was being dragged like a dead animal in front of a large crowd
with her sin practically stamped on her forehead. What if your sin was
exposed in this sort of way? What if your darkest secret was revealed
publicly? Just a thought.<br />
<br />
But here are these religious guys who are literally dragging this woman to the crowd to humiliate her and give her punishment for her crime. For in this day, adultery is punishable by stoning. Stoning isn't a quick punishment. It hurts. And hurts for a long time. These men, by law, have the right to throw rocks at this woman in public until she dies. If that's by bleeding out, a head wound, or internal trauma, it doesn't matter. They keep going until she's dead.<br />
<br />
There's still an ulterior motive going on here. They don't bring her to the crowd and just start throwing rocks like they could of. They ask Jesus a question. "The Law commands we stone such a woman. So what do you say?"<br />
<br />
"So what do you say?"<br />
<br />
They are trying to trap Jesus in His own words. Jesus basically has two obvious choices here. He can say stone her or He can say not to. He can either be the bad guy who wouldn't be seen as loving and living what He preaches, or He can disobey the law. Either way, He seems pretty screwed, right? The Pharisees thought so too. They thought they caught Him. They thought they had Him backed in a corner.<br />
<br />
Good thing our God is bigger and way smarter.<br />
<br />
Jesus answers them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone."<br />
<br />
Gotcha.<br />
<br />
And one by one, oldest to youngest, the stones are dropped. The men, ashamed, walk away. These are the religious men, and they were caught in their own trap set for Jesus. Instead of exposing the sin of this woman, their sin was exposed as well. But it doesn't end here.<br />
<br />
"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"<br />
"No one, Lord"<br />
"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."<br />
<br />
I'm one of those people who thinks Jesus smiled and did that a lot. And when I picture Him saying, "Where are your accusers?" He's got to be smiling or at least smirking. Because what comes next is life-changing.<br />
<br />
"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."<br />
<br />
Don't forget her crime. She's a whore. She probably ruined a marriage. Maybe many. And Jesus doesn't condemn her. That doesn't make what she did okay. Not at all. If He had simply forgiven her and left it at that, someone may assume that. Someone may assume that Jesus let's these things go. But He goes on to say, "Go and sin no more." <br />
<br />
God doesn't love our sin. God hates sin. He hates sin so much that He knew something had to be done because us trying to fulfill the Law on our own just wasn't working. Us trying to meet this holy standard wasn't quite doing it. But Jesus can. God doesn't love us just the way we are. Because we are sin. God loves us IN SPITE of who we are. The world labeled this woman as a whore. God hated the sin in this woman. But oh, if you don't see the love He has for her in this story, you missed the point. Jesus spared her from death. He saved her. And later in this beautiful story, He saves me, too.<br />
<br />
From the Pharisees. In public. When I should have been the one dragged out, He was. When I should have been the one humiliated by my sin, He was. When I should have been the one beaten, He was. When I should have been the one punished with death, He was. When I should have been condemned, He was.<br />
<br />
So at the end of the day, me and that whore have a whole lot in common.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">**<i>this devotion had a lot of help from the awesome Chris Kuykendall's sermon at Camp Hope this weekend**</i> </span>livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-18806588847479177572013-06-14T13:02:00.002-07:002013-06-14T13:02:40.863-07:00Stuck in My HeadToday, I cannot stop singing. And I cannot stop listening to one song. Don't you hate when that happens??<br />
Today I don't hate it at all. And I want to share it with you. <br />
<br />
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In case you can't watch the video, I'll put the lyrics down below.<br />
I'm currently doing a devotion with Taylor all summer on the book of Isaiah, and man, does Isaiah know how to expose sin. I mean, he is a prophet and that's normally what they are good at, but he seems to be exceptionally good at displaying the Righteous Judge in His full glory. But with this judgement and wrath, comes the promise of hope. The promise that this sin will not overtake those who have genuine faith. The promise that He will return and make new His creation. The promise that He never fails. <br />
<br />
******************************************************<br />City Harmonic - Holy (Wedding Day)<br />
<br />
<em>This is the story of Son of God hanging on the cross for me. <br />But it ends with a bride and groom and a wedding by a glassy sea. <br />Oh death, where is your sting?<br />Cause I'll be there singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord."</em><br />
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<em>This is the story of a bride in white waiting on her wedding day. <br />Anticipation welling up inside while the groom is crowned as King. <br />Oh death, where is your sting?<br />Cause we'll be there singing, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord."</em><br />
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<em>Holy, holy. Holy, holy. Holy, holy is the Lord Almightly.</em><br />
<em>Who was, and is, and is to come. </em><br />
<br />
<em>This is the story of Son of God hanging on the cross for me. <br />And it ends with a bride and groom and a wedding by a glassy sea.</em><br />
<em>This is the story of a bride in white singing on her wedding day </em><br />
<em>of the God who was, and is, and stand before a </em><em>bride who sings, <br />"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty."</em><br />
livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-21434001872672257122013-06-12T10:13:00.003-07:002013-06-12T10:13:47.321-07:00Good Food, Good TimeI love food. I workout to eat more. And I love eating as healthy as possible. It just tastes better and you feel better. Now, my most recently cooked meal was not the healthiest I've ever cooked by any means, but as a Chinese food substitute, it is way healthier than Hong Kong Inn. Not only was the food awesome though, but who I shared it with was even better. It was Taylor's last night in town for a week. Then he's back for one week and then gone again for 7. I hate distance. I suck at distance. But this is something I'm willing to fight for and give my fears to Jesus about. I mean, this could be an incredible opportunity for Taylor and I to truly rest in the presence and comfort of Christ alone. <br />
<br />
Now for this food. It was a sort of quick decision to make a meal at home than to go out for our last little evening together. I love to cook and he loves to help so it only made sense to us to do it this way. Plus, everytime we cook it is always so good. We came up with the idea to make our own Chinese (and of course I had to add in vegetables!). I found a version of sweet & sour chicken online and we went to town on it. I got the recipe from <a href="http://madeitateitlovedit.blogspot.com/2012/03/sweet-and-sour-chicken.html" target="_blank">Made It, Ate It, Loved It</a>, but here it is!<br />
<br />
CHICKEN: <br />
3-5 chicken breasts (we used 6-7 tenderloins cause it's what we had and it still tasted great!)<br />
salt and pepper (or anything else)<br />
cornstarch to coat<br />
2 eggs, beaten<br />
canola oil<br />
<br />
Rinse chicken, trim fats, and cut into 1-inch cubes. Season with salt and pepper. Dip each piece into the cornstarch, then into the egg. Heat oil in a large skillet and place the chicken in the skillet (duh!). Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Finish cooking your chicken until browned. Then place the chicken in a baking dish and coat with the sauce.....<br />
<br />
SAUCE: <br />
3/4 cup sugar (we used white but I've heard brown works too)<br />
4 tablespoons ketchup<br />
1/2 cup white distilled vinegar<br />
1 tablespoon soy sauce<br />
1 teaspoon garlic salt (or more if you're me!)<br />
<br />
Whisk everything until smooth. Pour evenly over the chicken in the baking dish. Turn chicken to coat and pop it in the oven for 30 minutes. Stir it half way through!!<br />
<br />
Finally, eat it up!!<br />
<br />
We enjoyed the chicken with brown rice and sauteed vegetables (zuchinni, mushrooms, onions, and green pepper) on the porch that evening. It was perfect with my green tea. It was perfect outside. It was perfect with him.<br />Afterwards we enjoyed a walk around downtown and one of our infamous trips to Walmart. Even Walmart shopping is fun with Taylor. Oh, and we got shaved ice. Because we get shaved ice just about every time we are together. It's just too good. <br />
<br />
More later. Maybe tomorrow!livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-6088585865474674292013-05-28T23:43:00.001-07:002013-05-28T23:51:58.489-07:00Long Time, No SeeSo, it's been awhile to say the least. I've told myself over and over I need to update this but life gets in the way from time to time. Well, actually finals and weddings get in the way. But that's been life for the last month. Let's start at the beginning.<br />
<br />
I'm done with my junior year! Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. I'm getting old. Almost 22. I'm done with all my big milestone birthdays. Minus like 40, where they say "over the hill," so I'm not exactly looking forward to that one. But next year I'll be a senior. Which means big decisions lie ahead. Like where to do my practicum for one. I've been offered one position, wanted another, and considering a life-changing one. Needless to say, I'm lost. Then comes graduate school decisions. Like where, how to pay for it, and where I'll go afterward. What I'll do afterward. Okay, well after this, excuse me while I go lay in my bed and each Fudge Brownie ice cream and forget the world. Haha, actually as scary as it is, I refuse to let fear sink me. My God is bigger than that and has a future far better than I deserve. I just have to be patient and obedient while He unravels it. Definitely easier said than done.<br />
<br />
Next was the wedding. Don't fret. Not my own. I was the maid of honor in my roommates wedding. Did you know with being a maid of honor comes a lot of duties. Apparently it's a big deal. But I had a blast planning the bridal shower, bachelorette night, and lingerie party. Now, I'll be honest. After the mere help I put into this wedding, I am thoroughly ready to elope. Quick, easy, painless. But the wedding was beautiful. The bride was beautiful. The day couldn't have gone better.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjUXjI4k2PIJjFuU8oJ7DFk3rUiDW9hioRJEddn43FkDRcNziMUUBpgn2gQmHCRJNvo_dIWKx6kLg5x7_ZuKPcyWBuR2Bq27eBM62ZZmPaKtpBmK64cQJBvUgoglvfv_AUDcW0SeNxWB3/s1600/shower.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjUXjI4k2PIJjFuU8oJ7DFk3rUiDW9hioRJEddn43FkDRcNziMUUBpgn2gQmHCRJNvo_dIWKx6kLg5x7_ZuKPcyWBuR2Bq27eBM62ZZmPaKtpBmK64cQJBvUgoglvfv_AUDcW0SeNxWB3/s320/shower.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"From Miss to Mrs" bridal shower!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andrew and Taffeta!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuy61X5zyV2hmfBsOEpAIGta0RPobOkWsuKqvlzIEtqFkGgkVhW8lfZRnB5pvgDdpKeg1wNvADbb_oUJMNpgfjDMpqJ2P1JwVHx6JlBHJGQbXL4tuXsPoNaZzE82mXdM96P1nX7fg86s_w/s1600/dance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuy61X5zyV2hmfBsOEpAIGta0RPobOkWsuKqvlzIEtqFkGgkVhW8lfZRnB5pvgDdpKeg1wNvADbb_oUJMNpgfjDMpqJ2P1JwVHx6JlBHJGQbXL4tuXsPoNaZzE82mXdM96P1nX7fg86s_w/s400/dance.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, the bridal party preformed a dance together!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The entire bridal party was pretty great. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh2sdtKgBCqR__2iz7Zns1zJnaUEwwtxdJQAAdBhyphenhyphenRghjnFDY2Q8ceslzfRTgXsr0fU9zPtsZypZG18UAujGD3WT0sLCcWIGZo9NA0_JjX8ECtuLS6M5XOCfF-tbkdmOz82EiAydHDQNRf/s1600/bridal+party.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh2sdtKgBCqR__2iz7Zns1zJnaUEwwtxdJQAAdBhyphenhyphenRghjnFDY2Q8ceslzfRTgXsr0fU9zPtsZypZG18UAujGD3WT0sLCcWIGZo9NA0_JjX8ECtuLS6M5XOCfF-tbkdmOz82EiAydHDQNRf/s640/bridal+party.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our group was just like a family. Love these girls so much.</td></tr>
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Now, for the last part of my recent journey. Moving. First, it was Taffeta to Kansas City. We worked hard but her apartment looked flawless and organized at the end of the night. Then me. I moved out of the apartment and into a house with 4 other girls. Except not yet. I mean, I'm here. But I'm not. It's just a weird week but basically I'm living out of boxes for 2 weeks. And if you know much about me, you know this drives me crazy. I even unpack at hotels. I'm a settler. And the idea of my stuff sitting in the garage totally grosses me out. But somehow Jesus is making me more flexible than I've ever been. Maybe it's the recent wedding chaos, or the fact I'm getting older and seeing more of what's important, but I've been more easy-going and spontaneous than ever. Life is too great to get bent up about some boxes. Or craziness at work. Or the way my hair looks after one snip of a terrible hair stylist. <br />
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Yes, life is good. And God is greater. <br />
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I promise to start updating this thing more this summer. But this is all for now.livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-62757235279878061982013-04-12T12:28:00.001-07:002013-04-12T12:32:42.260-07:00A Colorful [last] WeekendSo though I'm a complete week behind, last weekend was great. It was such a gift in the midst of school and work to take one weekend with my friends and family. <br />
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It started by going to the circus with Taylor and our friends. It was a blast. <br />
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Then it was on to the Color Run 2013! I did the Color Run last year with my friend Ashley, but this year it was in Springfield! I mostly ran with my roommate Taffeta and it was a blast yet again. Though it's a typical 5K, it never feels like you run that far. The color and people occupy your mind enough to take your mind off the exercise. Every time I do a 5K, my workouts are re-energized and I get back at running constantly. And I'm so excited to be back at it every day.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chris, Bria, me, Kelsey, and Logan. Friends in the chuch plant to Columbus.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me, Chrissy, Taffeta, and Ashton. Love these girls.</td></tr>
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And then again on Sunday, I headed back to the circus but this time was tradition. My grandma and I take a yearly visit to the circus and I look forward to it every time. Even when I'm no longer living in Springfield, I will make the trip just for the circus. We both share the same love of the circus, but even if we hated it, I bet we would still go. I usually tend to bring along a little friend and this year it was Miss Alee. She is adorable, sassy, and a miniature version of me. This was her first adventure to the circus and I loved sharing it with her and her family. She was wide-eyed the entire time and taking in all that her little 8-year-old eyes could take. She got to ride an elephant and was terrified when the human cannon ball shot out to the net. </div>
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This last weekend was fantastic. The weather is getting beautiful finally and I'm down to one month left of school. I mean, there's been some hang-ups this past week but I read one thing that has stuck with me...</div>
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"This is the day that I have made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that I am pouring into this brief portion of your life. Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. <em>The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them.</em> This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.</div>
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To find joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty-four hour segments. I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past. There is abundant Life in My Presence today."</div>
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>>Jesus Calling devotional, April 11</div>
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...the best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Him for them. </div>
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I challenge you to do that today, and just see what happens in your life. He can work miracles. I promise. </div>
livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-87238366137929180052013-04-02T23:52:00.000-07:002013-04-02T23:56:44.349-07:00A Longing and Some LearningToday, I miss Haiti. This isn't a new emotion by any means, but anytime I get the chance to talk about it or slow down for too long and have time to think, I miss it. I wonder what the boys are doing; I wonder how the school is doing; I wonder what God is up to next in that country. So I thought tonight would be a good time to show some more pictures and share some thoughts. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBo_hFVMetmw41mUMSHdFX0m4I7vgOt7l-Jey9-I8lQ5hHAyjqvt6AgAxPenOzLN6Dimvcr0GHf31Qzu706zhYQFofbKvo_oZK7Gz1SXrdxq4xt1rZf8aUBm-2B7YZk7z4RLZ9BZXIrc9X/s1600/IMG_3914.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBo_hFVMetmw41mUMSHdFX0m4I7vgOt7l-Jey9-I8lQ5hHAyjqvt6AgAxPenOzLN6Dimvcr0GHf31Qzu706zhYQFofbKvo_oZK7Gz1SXrdxq4xt1rZf8aUBm-2B7YZk7z4RLZ9BZXIrc9X/s400/IMG_3914.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
This is one of my favorite photos of the trip. Now this tattoo was done for an entirely different reason, but the purpose is still shown. God is first in my life. And when I allow Him the full rights to my heart, it amazes me what He does with it. Like take me to the poorest country in the world. And introduce me to some of His cherished children. Like the children in this children's home for chronically ill kids. Like the one which held my hand and attention the entire afternoon. The way I looked at this girl and the way I loved her for that short time was a glimpse at the way God loves and looks upon me. This blows my mind.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9hyphenhyphen68fozPXtfTSGUyvdvDE3_Cb14cimFhsCdZRRLrOLOK4JwV68YuDpEmTwoQ2-artY8Thg3eKwnKWQwfy2xRSjK-f_DPwYHRJc9AId4fjyk2n8z3svORhbu3UjL5i6JrBhqcDcXS_qZe/s1600/IMG_3991.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9hyphenhyphen68fozPXtfTSGUyvdvDE3_Cb14cimFhsCdZRRLrOLOK4JwV68YuDpEmTwoQ2-artY8Thg3eKwnKWQwfy2xRSjK-f_DPwYHRJc9AId4fjyk2n8z3svORhbu3UjL5i6JrBhqcDcXS_qZe/s320/IMG_3991.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
This afternoon, we were able to hold a Bible lesson for the street kids! And all our boys came! We were able to share our love for Jesus in their language through the unbelievable heart of this teacher Mme. Thom (Cara Wimpelberg). This woman's passion for God is incredible, and her heart for the people of Haiti closely follows. Every Sunday before church, she gathers street kids below the church (right on the ocean!) and teaches them a Bible study, and she let us be a part of it. The kids paid attention the entire time and absolutely loved it. We taught them Daniel in the lion's den and provided a craft and a snack. For the first time, I was able to have a little conversation about God with Ben, and before I left for the week, he told me he would pray while I was gone. I cannot express my joy over this trip.<br />
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This is Livie. Livie was adopted from Haiti and she is a living picture of my heart for adoption. The moment I met her, we became best friends. Literally. She told me. Why she attached to me so quickly, I do not know. My guess is that God used this girl to show me a little part of His plan in my life to adopt internationally myself. But the entire week she called me "sissy," and I was just that. She got mad at me, laughed at me, sang with me, and cried on my shoulder. I love my new 5 year old sister.<br />
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So it's rare to find people willing to spend the entire trip in the streets with you. My friend here on the right, Halley, wasn't that friend. Halley would have spent every second out there whether I was there or not. It was such an incredible blessing to watch her connect with those boys and love on them. To know God can place people other than me in their life to love them is not only humbling, but an answered prayer. Kari, on the left, is from Illinois and I would have never met her if it weren't for Haiti. Her and I joked about starting a sports ministry in Haiti, and sometimes I pray that God would call my heart to something like that. I think it would be easier for Him to call me to Haiti than it would for me to stay here. Unfortunately, He has yet to call me overseas...but part of me will keep waiting. Kari, Halley, and I became family on this trip and luckily I still get to see Halley whenever I want. Turns out, I work at the church she attends, so she will be helping me with volleyball camps and maybe I'll even get to coach her in the future. </div>
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Finally, this photo. People have told me it shows pure joy from the heart, and to be honest, that's exactly it. Haiti is in me for life. No matter the pain I sometimes experience from being away, when I go back, I will find this joy again. And in the meantime, I will search for that same joy here. Because God holds my future. Not Haiti. If He calls me there, I'll go. If He calls me to Springfield, I'll stay. And if He calls me anywhere between, I'll go there too. Nothing is more important to me than that. Honestly, going to Haiti would be easy. Packing up and moving there would be a simple decision. But that's my heart and my desire. My goal is to figure out God's desire in my life, which might mean a more difficult decision. But I know in His desire is where I fill rediscover this same joy. For that week in Haiti, I was in God's desire. I was fully focused on Him in a way I'm still learning to find while here in the States, but it's not impossible to find. It's a journey to the center of His heart, and falling in love with Jesus has been the most incredible adventure I've began and will be the most daring of decisions I will make for the rest of my life. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-28842646938970951132013-03-29T11:45:00.001-07:002013-03-29T11:48:25.574-07:00Blessed to be a Blessing<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
The things I learned in Haiti are endless. It is so difficult for me to explain this trip, but the tangible lessons I learned I hope are evident in my life after Haiti. One thing I learned is that I can do more. This means I have to pick the most important areas in my life and totally focus on those, but in those areas, I can do more. I am having to give up some things to make this happen, and this has been no easy task. Many of these things I'm still praying about, but last night my friend Jillian and I were able to begin a new project together. </div>
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Blessings bags. I got the idea <a href="http://kwavs.blogspot.com/2011/05/blessing-bags-how-to.html" target="_blank"><em>here</em></a>, and we decided this was a way we could help. The idea behind them is to keep them in your car and pass them out when you see someone in need. This allows you to help without giving actual money. Now that we have done it once, we have already seen better ways to go about it. We should have started at the Dollar Tree for instance. You can get big deodorants and normal toothpastes for the same price we got the minis. <br />
<u>Here's what we put in ours...</u><br />
Toothbrush<br />
Toothpaste</div>
Mouthwash (non-alcoholic please)<br />
Wet-wipes<br />
Tissues<br />
First-aid kit (97 cents at Walmart)<br />
Deodorant<br />
Peanut butter crackers<br />
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<u>Other items you can include...</u><br />
Comb/brush</div>
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Apple sauce</div>
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Juice box</div>
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Socks</div>
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Gloves</div>
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Gum/mints</div>
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Chapstick</div>
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Giftcards for food or Walmart</div>
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Soap</div>
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Shampoo/Conditioner</div>
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Small blanket</div>
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We loved doing this. The lady who checked us out at Walmart was shocked we were doing it. It seemed to blow her mind that two people would seek to help in this way. To me, this is such a small task though. In social work, we learn how many people are in total survival mode. This means, they live day-to-day, moment-to-moment. There is no room to think about tomorrow or a year from now or eternity. The purpose of the bags is to eliminate a few of these needs in order for them to just think...and hopefully think about love, hope, and Jesus. Things everyone should have the time to think about, but many or not given the chance. </div>
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Speaking of, today is Good Friday. Go make time to think about that. </div>
livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-15794100948901624742013-03-17T22:28:00.003-07:002013-03-17T22:35:56.508-07:00"Home" I GuessI have reluctantly returned. I've spent the entirety of my spring break in Port-de-Paix, Haiti on my second trip there. I'm at a loss for words on how to describe it to you. Jesus taught my heart so very much...and one is that He provides. He doesn't need me. I need Him. He does great works and glorifies His name without my pathetic help. As much as I love the kids there, He loves them more. When I am not there to love them, He is. When I'm not there to take care of them, He will be. And He did.<br />
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I love working at Sonlight Academy. Essentially, this is the purpose of our trip. We go to Port-de-Paix to work in a school which was started by the family of my leader's best friend. She visits every year and brings a group from her church and other misfits like myself to tag along. We work in the classrooms and school doing whatever they ask us to do. This school and faculty are absolutely incredible, but my heart for Haiti is different. My heart is in the streets. I have a passion to love on the people outside the school, which includes a large group of boys who have stolen my heart. One in particular, is Ben. His real name is Bienel and when I first met him two years ago, he was 9 years old. I have never felt like more of a mom then when that kid was by my side--which was all the time. We were inseparable. He would wait outside for me for hours on end. When we were together, we were either playing a game or he was resting against me. He was always touching me in some way. He craved love all the time. Craved for someone to take care of him. It is something he has never experienced before, and though we could not speak the same language, our hearts are made of the same thing. When I returned this year, I was confident I would not see him. Being a street kid, I thought he would either be dead or would have moved. For two years, I thought of him and my other street friends every day. My kids. Woodsonley, Louvensky, Jamel, and more. <br />
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God provided. When I was doubtful, He reassured me these boys are not mine...they are His. And He loves them infinitely more than I can imagine. He knows the hairs on their heads and is certainly capable of taking care of them. Not only did I see them again this year, but they remembered me. They instantly said, "Miss Krysta" and I knew I was home once again. Here are some pictures of two years ago and what my friends look like now!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_KABWkgUlZdKZlb0xmAYLbxiCltpGVacBntbUEQJPmZGd8CDPRekKhjrqBQWIlWPWyIpX9xtFG6W0Axuxa2pUhfZQ49plk2AIL285-J0P794ntB-r8VgtUAMhIr6Zz2uqoXwzfJ-KKFUD/s1600/IMG_2784.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_KABWkgUlZdKZlb0xmAYLbxiCltpGVacBntbUEQJPmZGd8CDPRekKhjrqBQWIlWPWyIpX9xtFG6W0Axuxa2pUhfZQ49plk2AIL285-J0P794ntB-r8VgtUAMhIr6Zz2uqoXwzfJ-KKFUD/s320/IMG_2784.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The sweet baby I held the entire time at House of Hope two years ago!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoWXXny-7OyTLXh-jzceFYyx9UPSTpi1N7yOz0WXdkLuJeCBbiFMZQY46Q4JSY7UXqxUW9sHFe0drwnPiVJZt1BzTcAH6pygsaXDNAamQ0A4JdY5zwqCsD0nxMsIR__m5x5lKrqRCbNmC5/s1600/IMG_3960.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoWXXny-7OyTLXh-jzceFYyx9UPSTpi1N7yOz0WXdkLuJeCBbiFMZQY46Q4JSY7UXqxUW9sHFe0drwnPiVJZt1BzTcAH6pygsaXDNAamQ0A4JdY5zwqCsD0nxMsIR__m5x5lKrqRCbNmC5/s320/IMG_3960.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at the mischief in her eyes! Her two years later as a toddler now!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiavRIAYSN_mgAB_LMop_aQMtECvVCydzLu2qXoApejBg1o-Z5PnewrfRebbZgWNd367L8fZybVuE8rO38zpH5M-WzWvKIFoFpswJRPHoqHU4FCxvKNrMY-z6qj9GvjOpiIqkdqj6Cd2tva/s1600/IMG_2685.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiavRIAYSN_mgAB_LMop_aQMtECvVCydzLu2qXoApejBg1o-Z5PnewrfRebbZgWNd367L8fZybVuE8rO38zpH5M-WzWvKIFoFpswJRPHoqHU4FCxvKNrMY-z6qj9GvjOpiIqkdqj6Cd2tva/s320/IMG_2685.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sam and her buddy Woodsonley two years ago! He's so little!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5HeQOSPexKZ1VPPp1-ShJkrorE_G5bscryvQJysIb6MzD41PxFhnL-JGXPRVPSwigvzPgq7cUkSo2weElMTuAFicTSSb_ZPcrU0GnMl_AkuObVkrBG1Z2kHWiOBKwWTkaPgZrgT6uz9S/s1600/IMG_3666.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5HeQOSPexKZ1VPPp1-ShJkrorE_G5bscryvQJysIb6MzD41PxFhnL-JGXPRVPSwigvzPgq7cUkSo2weElMTuAFicTSSb_ZPcrU0GnMl_AkuObVkrBG1Z2kHWiOBKwWTkaPgZrgT6uz9S/s320/IMG_3666.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first thing Woodsonley asked this year was, "Miss Krysta! Where's Sam?" Broke my heart to tell him she wasn't able to come back this year. He will continue to wait on her. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0u7ScP992wa2yfQHhm-5dNvBhKwysXoJ25hro3mEV0UnS6MFFDMYLowo1BWeDODnuWNamMmHLRd6Qh3AtZtXxBDJeTIve9Ml6sKSe4eT68PXdXPXFKGMU2Jb1UI9qaV9YevMRKbscYazL/s1600/IMG_2947.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0u7ScP992wa2yfQHhm-5dNvBhKwysXoJ25hro3mEV0UnS6MFFDMYLowo1BWeDODnuWNamMmHLRd6Qh3AtZtXxBDJeTIve9Ml6sKSe4eT68PXdXPXFKGMU2Jb1UI9qaV9YevMRKbscYazL/s320/IMG_2947.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Louvensky two years ago! I barely got to know him last time. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqFg8MACSxP95q1PCr_L3DfJFIRjvmOSO6jbs5rALBumJ2ZK_dnjip9K99H5Cp3khsUQFTya3AaMwhX5MyixjIvoJj1mWGrphn61d85lYJRCurYXrZgDpinKrx7MQQeuqU5vTRjo9Zdr3Q/s1600/IMG_3713.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqFg8MACSxP95q1PCr_L3DfJFIRjvmOSO6jbs5rALBumJ2ZK_dnjip9K99H5Cp3khsUQFTya3AaMwhX5MyixjIvoJj1mWGrphn61d85lYJRCurYXrZgDpinKrx7MQQeuqU5vTRjo9Zdr3Q/s320/IMG_3713.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This year, Louvensky became my second kid. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Ben two years ago when I first met him... this picture has set on my dresser for two years. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjitBxjzIFDk7KGTZC94BS38EbO31sdqWOww1vkMxGX1zFqC-dByYrs7DO85ATxoGiVbHrcg5uvuUWKPczufl4zJEoO_7-tfy7ArHlQYDiSkjIQ0U4WqqHTVqsgjYqbw7elm_lbi6x2hfv7/s1600/IMG_4043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjitBxjzIFDk7KGTZC94BS38EbO31sdqWOww1vkMxGX1zFqC-dByYrs7DO85ATxoGiVbHrcg5uvuUWKPczufl4zJEoO_7-tfy7ArHlQYDiSkjIQ0U4WqqHTVqsgjYqbw7elm_lbi6x2hfv7/s320/IMG_4043.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And this was us this year. He is forever in my heart. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyKvH20XtBJA9pWhcoCMHyOqHWkADxPjS976kM4PMfkPmlEld5oU89KIYLZb6JZcVgGcLqP02pTFKVh4leH16YqQ51mXTBFOZfZCbAVf-MJsBUqtGUMoe75tslsnGjMt6-IsrvjhUhO4gn/s1600/IMG_4058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyKvH20XtBJA9pWhcoCMHyOqHWkADxPjS976kM4PMfkPmlEld5oU89KIYLZb6JZcVgGcLqP02pTFKVh4leH16YqQ51mXTBFOZfZCbAVf-MJsBUqtGUMoe75tslsnGjMt6-IsrvjhUhO4gn/s640/IMG_4058.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I am forever changed by these kids. </td></tr>
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That last picture was one of the hardest pictures I've ever taken. A few extra kids jumped in the picture, but if you look at our boys (Louvensky, Benji, Jose, Woodsonley, Coocoo, and Ben) they are all crying. This was our last night together and none of us could stop crying. They begged us to come back, and I promised I would. And I will. I don't know how, but God will provide. He will provide the money, the time, and the passion.<br />
After Haiti, my life seems fake. Unreal. Haiti is real. These boys are real. And Jesus seeks to show them love as much as He wants to show you you are loved. But they can't understand His love until they know what love even is. That's my job. Show them love so that I can point them to Him. I will again think about these boys and pray for them until I can return and witness the great work of God.<br />
Haiti is my home. livingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6632095363873898803.post-81573814375531220542013-03-05T23:54:00.003-08:002013-03-05T23:54:54.835-08:00A Crazy WeekWell I'm glad to finally be back to blog posting. I don't assume anyone will read this--I can't say I blame them. But this is more for me. I am terrible at journaling, even though I love it, simply because I'm a perfectionist and it takes too long to make my handwriting look how I want it too. So here's my blog. I'll put random, everyday beautiful things; recipes; workouts; devotions; thoughts; pictures; ideas; memories. Whatever is on my brain at the time will end up here. And right now two things are on my brain...<br /><i>Paper writing and Haiti</i>. <br />This has in fact been one crazy week. Yesterday I turned in a 20-page paper. Tomorrow I turn in a 2-page paper and a 12-14 page research proposal. Then I leave for my next journey to Haiti that evening. I have yet to pack or even buy all my supplies. Schoolwork has taken over my brain and time this week, but in the end it will be worth it. Which means I should get off this and go write. And write. And write some more. <br />Please pray for me while I am in Haiti, and when I get back, I'll write about it. I have so many thoughts pent up in my head, the next one could be a long one. <br /><br />
Love always, <br /> Krystalivingagapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15142864244726275635noreply@blogger.com0